Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Certain individuals are pressing the
government
to provide accommodation facilities to destitute individuals Use synonyms
however
others believe that the authorities cannot be held responsible for Linking Words
this
matter. I believe that the Linking Words
government
has limited resources and should focus more on generating Use synonyms
the
economic plans. In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay, both opinions will be discussed to know the reasons Linking Words
of
Change preposition
for
such
kinds of beliefs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, some poor people in the communities are stuck in a vicious cycle where they are not able to afford education and housing. They cannot earn anything because they never went to school to learn any skill. Linking Words
Thus
, their financial situations were so hostile that they were not able to think about anything except their necessity of the bread and butter. To exemplify, some homeless people have to spend the coldest nights of Linking Words
winters
in Fix the agreement mistake
winter
open
because they do not have money to afford rent. In Correct article usage
the open
this
case, the Linking Words
government
should step in and provide them Use synonyms
housing
to save lives.
Change preposition
with housing
In contrast
, the Linking Words
government
should focus more on how to support businesses and provide Use synonyms
the
employment opportunities to all. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
Linking Words
this
, the role of free education and meals provided in schools is so important to bring the focus of destitute children to their studies. Linking Words
For example
, In India, the authorities researched Linking Words
about
the absence of some disadvantaged children from school. The result of the analysis was that they Change preposition
apply
quitted
the school Wrong verb form
quit
due to
the distraction of hunger. Linking Words
Thus
, the Linking Words
government
introduced a midday meal plan for all the children which significantly improved the enrollment and their graduation. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
ensured their jobs and a sustainable income to pay house rent. Linking Words
Thus
, employment is more important to consider rather than rewarding the housing facilities directly.
In conclusion, offering home to disadvantaged sections of society is a temporary measure and cannot run forever. The more permanent Linking Words
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
of
Change preposition
to
this
problem is that homeless people should be supported and trained to eradicate poverty from their lives. Linking Words
This
is a more economically feasible method.Linking Words
Submitted by Kiran on
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introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets up the discussion well by explaining the two viewpoints. However, your thesis statement is partially opinionated; it would be clearer if it explicitly stated your stance with a brief rationale. This would help in providing a clearer framework for the essay.
logical structure
While your paragraphing is generally effective, the transition between discussing the issues faced by destitute individuals and potential government interventions needs to be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports your argument but also flows logically from one idea to the next.
logical structure
To improve coherence, consider using more connective words and phrases. These will help guide the reader through your line of reasoning, fostering a clearer understanding of your argument.
supported main points
Be careful with over-generalizations. You mention 'some poor people' and 'authorities' without specifying which groups you are referring to. Adding precision in your language will create stronger points.
clear comprehensive ideas
In some parts, your reasonings are a bit repetitive. Focus on delivering distinct arguments in each paragraph to maintain the reader's interest and to present a more compelling case.
relevant specific examples
Your examples are relevant, but adding more variety in your examples (e.g., other countries, different segments of poverty within a society) could strengthen your argument further.
introduction conclusion
While the conclusion provides a good summary and insight, try to connect your final points more clearly to your initial thesis statement, reinforcing your argument but also addressing both views discussed.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument, which demonstrates good critical thinking skills.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and topic sentences, which helps maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
Your use of examples significantly supports your points and illustrates your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, offering a coherent structure to your discussion.