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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided table illustrates numeral information about how much
people
Use synonyms
 of different employments enjoy their free time.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 retired and unemployed
men
Use synonyms
 and women have the highest number in
this
Linking Words
 chart.
Besides
Linking Words
, there is no
bar
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 in part-time employed and housewives section which means there is no enjoyment figure.
To begin
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, for full-time employed
people
Use synonyms
, the first section out of 5 sections, male and female figures are around 42 and 38.
Moreover
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, unemployed
people
Use synonyms
's numbers are 83 for
men
Use synonyms
 and 78 for women. Retired
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have the same number and it is 83 for males and 78 for females.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, part-time employed women are exactly 40 and as we can see there is no
bar
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 part.
finally
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the provided
bar
Use synonyms
 chart housewives figure for girls is exactly 50 and there is not a
bar
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 either.
Submitted by alikiadaah on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, men, bar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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