IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The ownership of car should be restricted to one per family in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#ownership #car #traffic #congestion #pollution
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A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that each family just have a
car
Use synonyms
 in order to decrease
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and
overpollution
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 writer agrees that the less transportation
people
Use synonyms
 have, the cleaner
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
. First of all,
car
Use synonyms
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
 may enhance the
air
Use synonyms
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 clean and peaceful. When the
car
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been declined, there is no more congestion, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 would be wider and it may not threaten to the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, family contain less transport can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money to do
another works
Fix the agreement mistake
other work
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, workers when they have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
car
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have to spend money to buy fossil fuel for it and it may be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is a significant thing to do to protect our life in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of cars will reduce waste of the toxic gas
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
air
Use synonyms
.
As well as
Linking Words
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 in the world,
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
also
Linking Words
 waste gas which
threaten
Change the verb form
threatens
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as carbon dioxide,
sulfur
Correct word choice
and sulfur
show examples
 dioxide and these
gas
Fix the agreement mistake
gases
show examples
 may cause
air
Use synonyms
 pollution in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
Linking Words
, because of
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
car
Use synonyms
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
, the
air
Use synonyms
 would be safer and cleaner for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people's breathe
Verb problem
people
show examples
.Nowadays, a lot of companies produce electric cars to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 the environment
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 reduce pollution and
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.So,
people
Use synonyms
 have to follow and accept the rules to make the world become healthier. In conclusion, the
air
Use synonyms
 and
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 are now threatening and it
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 significant problem in the world. the act of
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 is one of the most important things in
this
Linking Words
 era, it
also
Linking Words
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cleaner.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides reasons to support your opinion. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the points. Try to include real-life scenarios or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to maintain coherence. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'Additionally' can help improve the logical flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a strong framework for your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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