IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #information #visitors #three #london #museums #june #september #summarise #features #comparisons
The line illustrates the
visitors
 who go to the British
Museum
,the Science
Musseum
Correct your spelling
Museum
,and the Nature History
Museum
 from June to September
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003. The British
Museum
 has the most
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
 in the whole
summer time
Correct your spelling
summertime
show examples
 and September. The highest amount of
visitors
 is in July
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 visitor numbers are up to 750,000. The Science
Museum
 is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle amounts of
visitors
 in the line graph,which starts
gustes
Correct your spelling
gusts
 from 550,00 and declines to 390,000 in July.In the
autum
Correct your spelling
autumn
, the number
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slightly to 490,000. The lowest number of
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
these three London
Change the determiner
this three London museum
these three London museums
show examples
museum
 is the Nature History
Museum
. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 who visit
this
museum
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 from 400,000 in June and later little
slidly
Correct your spelling
solidly
 descend to 300,000 in August;
however
,the
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
show examples
 go up to 450,000 in September.
Submitted by diana1992lin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: