The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that the most essential goal of science is to provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life for the
people
. I couldn't agree more with the statement. Inventions based on improving
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
will
last
longer
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
the others which came from ill intentions. I
always
Add a missing verb
am always
show examples
fascinated by how scientists are striving to create new
technology
for helping
people
. As an example, electricity was introduced by Faraday and he believed it would bring benefits for
people
. Not long after that, T.A Edison
leverage
Wrong verb form
leveraged
show examples
the
technology
and created a lamp which we use on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis and thanks to the scientists, we have various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of lamps now. I believe that the motive of helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is contagious and will make someone in the future take the baton to continue the vision. On the other side, we can
also
see some technologies
being hold
Change the verb form
being held
show examples
and have no
further
public use
due to
the bad reason behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Take
nuclear
Correct article usage
the nuclear
show examples
bomb as an example. The mechanism of the bomb is
undebateably
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
brilliant, but
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
it was born as a tool to war. Despite the great potential to be used as renewable energy
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the future, nuclear
technology
brings terror to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To conclude
, the future can
we
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
way greater with the help of good scientists. Even by nature, humans are social creatures that will need help from others, and the message "helping others" can
also
be
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
on within the development of
technology
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. This will make arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear and coherent response to the prompt, maintaining a consistent argument throughout.
relevant specific examples
You included specific examples like the invention of electricity and nuclear technology, which helps in making the essay more engaging and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are presented clearly and are easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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