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Band 4.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the whole world and in different parts of the world.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the whole world and in different parts of the world.
#bar #information #percentage #population #areas #world #parts
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of the
population
 living in urban areas in the whole
world
 and in different parts of the
world
. To commence with, the graph shows a detailed report of how much
population
 is staying in
world
 the first and foremost is the
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1950 i is lacking about 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
 in the
year
 2015, it increased to 37
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
then
 drastically increased to 51 per cent in the coming era 2050. Moving on to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia it was approximately 17
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1950 and 41
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015 and suddenly increased to 53
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 in
Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
show examples
 the
population
 was seen more as compared to Africa and Asia it was around 51
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1950 and 72
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 78
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2050.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
latin
Change the capitalization
Latin
show examples
America
 had 42% of
Add an article
the
show examples
population
 in the
year
 1950
while
 in 2015 it was
approx
Rephrase
approximately
show examples
 78%
while
 more increased in 2050 which was 84%.
Moreover
 in North
America
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
, it was seen that 64% was in the
year
 1950
while
 79% in 2015 and drastically increased to 87% in 2050.
Furthermore
, the
world
 had the least
population
 in urban areas in 1950 it was 29%
while
 49% in 2015 and
then
 60% in 2050.
To sum up
, The lowest
population
 was crystal clearly observed in the
world
 and more
population
 was observed in North
America
America
Submitted by oshin.ambekar5 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, moreover, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, world, year, percent, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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