In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

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Despite studying
science
and
technology
, many
women
around the world do not pursue
careers
in these
fields
.
This
essay argues that
gender
biases and inadequate workplace support are major factors contributing to
this
issue, which can be addressed by promoting
gender
equality and increasing average salaries. A significant reason
women
avoid
science
and
technology
careers
is the pervasive
gender
bias that suggests men are more suited for these
fields
.
This
bias undermines
women
's confidence and discourages them from pursuing
such
careers
. To combat
this
, companies and institutions should implement policies that promote
gender
equality. By ensuring fair recruitment processes and creating a supportive work environment, more
women
will be encouraged to enter and stay in these
fields
. Another factor is the lower average salary in comparison to other professions. Increasing salaries in
science
and
technology
can make these
careers
more attractive to
women
. Higher wages would not only improve their financial stability but
also
signal the value of their contributions to these
fields
.
This
change could encourage more
women
to pursue and persist in
science
and
technology
careers
. In conclusion, addressing
gender
biases and improving financial incentives are crucial steps to encourage more
women
to work in
science
and
technology
. By creating a more equitable and supportive environment, we can ensure that
women
who study these
fields
also
have the opportunity to thrive in them.
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improvement
While the essay addresses the main points adequately, it could benefit from incorporating more specific examples or case studies. This would add depth and context to the arguments, making them more persuasive.
improvement
Strengthen the transition between paragraphs to further enhance the flow. For instance, connecting the idea of gender bias directly to the actions that companies can take would make the argument more cohesive.
positive
Clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points while addressing the task.
positive
Logical structure and well-organized paragraphs that make the essay easy to follow.
positive
Direct and comprehensive response to the prompt, with relevant points and arguments presented in a cohesive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mentorship programs
  • Career advice
  • Early-career professionals
  • Scholarships
  • Funding opportunities
  • Financial barriers
  • Flexible working environments
  • Remote work options
  • Work-life balance
  • Visibility campaigns
  • Role models
  • Potential career paths
  • Stereotypes
  • Biases
  • Educational and professional settings
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