Much of the food people eat gets transported from farms thousands of miles away. Some believe it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate food from local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
many
food
that Change to a plural noun
foods
people
have eaten have been supplied from far farms. several individuals believe it could be better for atmosphere
and Correct article usage
the atmosphere
financal
if Correct your spelling
finances
human
just ate Fix the agreement mistake
humans
food
from neighbor
farmers. Change the spelling
neighbour
this
writer firmly contends that society should enjoy cuisine from local area
to save Fix the agreement mistake
areas
money
and protect our health
from toxic things.
first of all, snack
in our hamlet Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
is
cheaper and safer. it can seem that the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
food
which provide
Change the verb form
provides
from
our area is Change preposition
in
unexpensive
because it Correct your spelling
inexpensive
do
not cost the transport fees. when the Change the verb form
does
food
ship from the farm lands
in which far from the users' area to the consumers, it costs a lot of Correct your spelling
farmlands
money
because of the fossil fuel for the truck. moreover
, when they transist
the Correct your spelling
transit
food
, it may reduce the food
qualities
. Fix the agreement mistake
quality
for instance
, when the food
transports
from the North to the South in Vietnam, the Wrong verb form
is transported
food
would be spoiled by the temperature or maybe the atmosphere on the road to accomadations.
secondly
, eat
Wrong verb form
eating
food
from our neighbour can protect our health
from the bad things. nowadays, a lot of farmlands use pesticide
to keep their Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
food
fresh and ripen fastly
. if we ate Rephrase
fast
food
by our neighbours grow, it could save our health
and human
would know the fresh of Fix the agreement mistake
humans
food
. government around the world encourage their residents to use their local food
to look after health
and reduce the cost.
on the other hand
, some people
like food
from abroad because it
enjoyable and safe. it may be true, but there Add a verb
it is
it was
is
a lot of significant things Correct subject-verb agreement
are
can
happen. it can take Correct pronoun usage
that can
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
money
to forward, moreover
, it can cause problems with people
who sensitive
Add a missing verb
are sensitive
with
that Change preposition
to
food
.
in conclusion, it depends on people
's preference
. withal, because the modern era is developing and Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
the
finance is difficult so we have to protect our country's Correct article usage
apply
money
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. While you discussed both environmental and economic aspects, the argument could be more comprehensive. Try to offer counterarguments to show a balanced view and strengthen the position.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ideas should be well-connected, and each paragraph should have a clear central focus. This will make your argument clearer and easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
You provided an introduction and conclusion, which is a positive aspect of your essay structure. This helps in framing your argument and giving it a complete feeling.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your main points, such as the example of transporting food within Vietnam, which adds weight to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.