IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet everday from 2003-2006.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet everday from 2003-2006.
#percentage #adults #ages #uk #internet #everday
The given diagram consists
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 about the proportion of mature people by
group
age
 accessing the Internet between 2003 and 2006.
Overall
, it is observed that the rates of people using
this
 platform in 2005 and 2006 were higher than those in 2003 and 2004, with the exception of
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
 between 16-24 and 55-64.
Additionally
,
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
users
 in 2003 were recorded in the
age
 above 65. Starting off with the figure
off
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
age
 25 to 44, about 50%
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
 were recorded in 2003, as the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 passed, the proportion witnessed a steady increase throughout the
years
 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up at 80% in 2006. A similar trend was seen in the 45 to 54 category, the figure started off at 60% and
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
 substantially for a straight of 3
years
, which culminated with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as the
age
 25-to-34. Turning to the 55-64 sector, the
users
 in 2003 were as halve as the
age
 between 45 to 54, a moderate upward was seen in 2006, culminating at 50%. Moving onto
group
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 ranging from 16 to 24
years
 old, between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2003 and 2004, 80% of
users
 had remained the same before experiencing a substantial increase to exactly 100%. By the
year
 2006, 10%
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
users
 were seen, illustrating a slight downfall in usage. Regarding the
group
 above 65, more
users
 were measured in 2003. By a sequence
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3
years
, about 10% and 17% accounted for the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2004 and 2006 before
witnessed
Wrong verb form
witnessing
show examples
 an increase to a precise 20% in the final
year
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words group, age, users, year, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "substantially" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: