In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

In many areas, the development of hiring not relating to the workers’ age plays a positive improvement on society
due to
the fairness between community and nation
while
some citizens believe it is negative because of the obstacles of older age giving for their workplaces.
This
author agrees with the statement that improvement is negative
due to
the high rate of homelessness among
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
public and unfair
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. It is vital to think that elders and youth should have a fair chance at enrollment.
Moreover
, they have a long period of time on work and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
suitable with their management and leadership skills but they cannot have an opportunity to have jobs
while
they are as smart and helpful as youth.
For example
, older society are more likely to fail the apply form of new jobs
due to
the risks to their health or the problems they can meet when working, they were not assessed correctly with their real ability.
In addition
, older unemployed are more likely to be homeless
due to
life without working and earning money but hassling. Frankly speaking, not working is not having money to live and the increased number of old homeless
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
shows that phenomenon clearly.
As a result
, the experiment in recent years shows the proportion of old hiring becoming less and less day by day
while
the amount of older homeless
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
increases higher and higher.
To sum up
, it is illegal to distinguish individuals by their age in the workplace
due to
the amount of intelligence and the fair chance of experience.
Hence
, that development will be negative if it continues happening to the increased range of old homeless and unfair careers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic but does not entirely provide a balanced view of both sides. It's good to strengthen both viewpoints before concluding your stance.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer ideas and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one main idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
Your main points need more solid examples to support them. Including more detailed and specific examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve your logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows coherently to the next. Use more linking phrases or words to tie ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well-supported and explained clearly within each paragraph. Avoid vague statements and provide clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a clear opening and closing to your essay.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to address both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: