Some people say history as one of the important school subjects, other people think that today’s world, subjects like science and technology or more in Porten than history discuss both of use and give your opinion.
Some
people
believe that history
subjects are less important than another lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
other lessons
such
as science and technology.In my opinion, both of them are significant for all students to educate.
On the one hand ,it can be argued that the main role and function of learning about history
in some schools is very important and popular in this
era.History
can make some society know about the historical war when the battle happens,and the aim is to make many people
aware that
who is making some countries Change preposition
of
being
victory and how exhausted to face the enemy.The average Unnecessary verb
apply
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
arise
awareness because of Verb problem
raises
this
subject,so history
put many ways to know about it not only in school but also
in places such
as museums.For example
,in my home town Correct pronoun usage
there was
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
making
museums to put like statues and books about the annual war.so that way a lot of children come there to research their major in college.
Verb problem
apply
On the other hand
,some people
argue that it cannot separate between history
,science and technology.It should be combined Change preposition
as
for
a base for the school because it is related to them.And several folks had focused on technology and science.Change preposition
as
However
, they do not know how important train for how to learning more about chronic. For instance
, overseas has
become researchers in Egypt and they have up about Miami,the Correct subject-verb agreement
have
pyramid
and how to build them,and now Fix the agreement mistake
pyramids
it
are popular subjects in Egypt.Correct pronoun usage
they
Also
, we should not distance from
it because it is very important for our life.
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves from
To conclude
,the study of history
should not be left by many people
and they can prioritize other subjects,
because it is necessary for our heritage in the future to Remove the comma
apply
know-how
was doing hero when they won.Correct your spelling
know how
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity. For example, 'On the one hand, it can be argued that the main role and function of learning about history in some schools are very important and popular in this era.' can be simplified for better readability.
coherence
Ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Use more cohesive devices like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Additionally' to build stronger connections between your points.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could include specific historical events or scientific advancements to better illustrate your points.
content
You have provided a balanced discussion, addressing both sides of the argument on the importance of history versus science and technology.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a sense of completeness.
examples
You used relevant examples, such as museums in your hometown and research in Egypt, to support your arguments.