Some people say history as one of the important school subjects, other people think that today’s world, subjects like science and technology or more in Porten than history discuss both of use and give your opinion.

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Some
people
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believe that
history
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subjects are less important than
another lesson
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other lessons
show examples
such
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as science and technology.In my opinion, both of them are significant for all students to educate. On the one hand ,it can be argued that the main role and function of learning about
history
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in some schools is very important and popular in
this
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era.
History
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can make some society know about the historical war when the battle happens,and the aim is to make many
people
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aware
that
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of
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who is making some countries
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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victory and how exhausted to face the enemy.The average
communities
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community
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arise
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raises
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awareness because of
this
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subject,so
history
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put many ways to know about it not only in school but
also
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in places
such
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as museums.
For example
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,in my home town
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there was
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was
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were
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making
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apply
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museums to put like statues and books about the annual war.so that way a lot of children come there to research their major in college.
On the other hand
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,some
people
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argue that it cannot separate between
history
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,science and technology.It should be combined
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as
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for
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as
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a base for the school because it is related to them.And several folks had focused on technology and science.
However
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, they do not know how important train for how to learning more about chronic.
For instance
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, overseas
has
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have
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become researchers in Egypt and they have up about Miami,the
pyramid
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pyramids
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and how to build them,and now
it
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they
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are popular subjects in Egypt.
Also
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, we should not distance
from
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ourselves from
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it because it is very important for our life.
To conclude
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,the study of
history
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should not be left by many
people
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and they can prioritize other subjects
,
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apply
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because it is necessary for our heritage in the future to
know-how
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know how
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was doing hero when they won.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity. For example, 'On the one hand, it can be argued that the main role and function of learning about history in some schools are very important and popular in this era.' can be simplified for better readability.
coherence
Ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Use more cohesive devices like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Additionally' to build stronger connections between your points.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could include specific historical events or scientific advancements to better illustrate your points.
content
You have provided a balanced discussion, addressing both sides of the argument on the importance of history versus science and technology.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a sense of completeness.
examples
You used relevant examples, such as museums in your hometown and research in Egypt, to support your arguments.
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