Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympic is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
It is a common belief that
Olympic
games
are a waste of money and they feel better when spending money on other things which will have more benefits. This
essay agrees that Correct article usage
the Olympic
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
will bring other countries
together rather than the ideas of some residents who feel a waste of money to do things related to the competition.
Nowadays, the Olympic
games
have a big common around the world and winning it will receive respect other
Change preposition
from other
countries
. Games
in many countries
are organized for talented people
. Not only exciting events,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
Correct pronoun usage
apply
which
is the championship very difficult for Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who take part in it. If people
in the country win Correct article usage
the Olympic
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
, they will bring much respect, Correct word choice
and admiration
admiration
for themselves to pride in the nations together. Yet Correct word choice
and admiration
people
who take part in it will spend a lot of time Correct pronoun usage
apply
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
apply
in
training every day until Change preposition
apply
begin
Change the verb form
beginning
Olympic
games
. When they win the competition, other people
in the world will admire them and also
help their country develop for
international Change preposition
apply
relationship
.
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
In contrast
, the opponents of my idea typically state that this
event
covers an extreme number of finance for construction such
as football stadiums, badminton courts, swimming pools, etc. As a result
, this
event
had enormous one-off projects used in the Olympic
games
. Therefore
, causing
a detrimental case of long-term debt, Wrong verb form
this causes
although
they know it has purpose
for society. Add an article
a purpose
In addition
, some people
want the government to invest in building Fix the agreement mistake
projects
project
and improving Fix the agreement mistake
projects
residents's
lives.
From Remove the s
residents'
this
writer's knowledge, the Olympic
games
also
help progress and bring many opportunities for diplomatic relations of participating countries
. That's because,
Remove the comma
apply
this
event
is a prize which is for global citizens. Hence
, the writer is swayed by some people
enjoying this
event
, who will bridge the gap of all countries
.
In conclusion, this
championship can help bring many benefits for the nations about respectability and many diplomatic relations with other countries
. Thus
, it is crucial to observe the massive opposition from residents, in order to prevent unpredictable conflicts.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task response
Try to further elaborate on the benefits and drawbacks of the Olympics with more specific examples or statistical data. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. For instance, instead of just stating "In contrast," you could add a bit more context such as "Despite the many benefits, some argue against the Olympics for several reasons."
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and avoid repetition. Using a combination of short and long sentences can keep the reader engaged.
task response
The essay presents both viewpoints clearly, which is essential for a balanced discussion essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion adequately frame the essay, giving a clear perspective on the discussed issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.