Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Due to
the advancement of technology nowadays,
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
now can be done at home
instead
of
offices
Change preposition
in offices
show examples
and many people think that
this
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
should be encouraged because of its benefits. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly agree with
this
point of view for its convenient and effective.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why people should
work
at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
. The first justification is that
workers
will have more time to do their
work
because they will not have to go to the offices every
mornings
Change to a singular noun
morning
show examples
like they used to be as they can just wake up early and do the job
when ever
Correct your spelling
whenever
show examples
they like.
Moreover
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
at home will give them
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
atmosphere which is conducive to relaxation rather than the pressure atmosphere at the office
due to
the director's disparaging remarks.
For instance
, when the
workers
make a mistake in their projects, they will not only receive
a disparaging remarks
Correct the article-noun agreement
disparaging remarks
a disparaging remark
show examples
from their manager but
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
their
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
will be affected badly
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Additionallly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, when
emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
prefer to
work
at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
will make
Verb problem
,
show examples
the company's electricity expenditure
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
and
also
workers
will
work
with a positive mindset
due to
the absence of strict adherence to company regulations.
For example
, they can wear their pyjamas and
work
, which
is very relax
Change the verb form
is very relaxing
is very relaxed
show examples
for them. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that working at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
will not only bring many advantages for
workers
and employees but
also
will make the
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
ò the company increase.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Vocabulary
Focus on proofreading your essay to avoid small grammatical and spelling errors. For example, 'i' should be 'I' and 'phenomenom' should be 'phenomenon'.
Development of Ideas
Try to elaborate more on your examples and arguments. Providing specific data or more detailed scenarios can make your essay stronger.
Language and Style
Work on sentence variety and complexity. Try to vary your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
Task Response
The essay clearly addresses the topic and provides a clear stance from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are logically structured and follow a coherent order.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!