The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture illustrates the steps involved in producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane. There are seven steps in the process from growing
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
to drying and cooling
sugar
. First of all,
sugar
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
grown for twelve to eighteen months. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
it is harvested either manually or mechanically. The manual method involves farmers removing the leaves first and
then
chopping the
canes
,
while
the mechanized method uses machines to cut the
canes
directly.
The following step is
that the
sugar
canes
are crushed in a mill to extract the juice.
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
show examples
the juice is purified in
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter and
then
, the purified juice is boiled in an evaporator to remove water to become syrup. At
this
point, the syrup is
then
poured into a centrifuge where it is spun at high speed. in
such
a way that the
sugar
crystals are separated from
syrup
Add an article
the syrup
show examples
. The
last
step is that the
sugar
is dried and cooled.
Submitted by abhari1997 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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