IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph provides data about the number of people who were employed in different sectors of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 in Britain over the decade in question.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
while
Linking Words
private
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the private
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sector
Use synonyms
 was the most important
section
Correct your spelling
sector
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 in 2000, it witnessed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend over the
period
Use synonyms
, and hit the bottom line in 2010. As for
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and self-employed sectors, they saw an upward trend during the decade
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and were more popular than
private
Correct article usage
the private
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sector
Use synonyms
finally
Linking Words
. Looking at the details, despite less than half of people in the UK
were
Wrong verb form
being
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 employed in the private
sector
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
this
Linking Words
 rate fell gradually by 30%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and hit the bottom line
to
Change preposition
of
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 around 20% in 2010. If we look at the self-employed
sector
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, having fluctuated in the first half of the
period
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, it
then
Linking Words
 recovered and grew
up
Change preposition
apply
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slightly in the second half of the
period
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, and ended up at just about 30%. Regarding
public
Correct article usage
the public
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sector
Use synonyms
, it started at approximately 30%, and after experiencing fluctuation over the
period
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, it was the most important section in 2010, which meant more than
around
Rephrase
apply
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50% of people were employed in
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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