The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003

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This

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line graph illustrates the data about the percentage of people who played video games more than 10 hours a week classified by their age between 2010 and 2015.

Overall

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, what stands out from the graph is that the majority of the youngest group played video games more than 10 hours per week,

whereas

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elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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not as interested as their younger counterparts in playing video games and only a small minority proportion spent more than 10 hours a week on

this

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type of hobby. By looking at the details, regarding individuals between 16 and 24, their

time

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play increased sharply during the first 2 years of the period. It was followed a steady growth, after which it rose significantly reaching its peak at about 70%. With respect to

second

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the second

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age group which

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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consisted of folks between 45 and 54, at the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the given

time

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frame, the

time

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they devoted to playing plunged. After that the figure representing

this

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age group

Remove the comma

apply

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showed a robust rise to 50%. Having remained stable for several years, In 2015 the percentage

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apply

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rose slightly to about 55%. Concerning other lines, it could be elucidated that despite being older, the people who were between 25 and 44 years old had less

time

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to enjoy

such

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an entertainments

Correct the article-noun agreement

entertainment

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Submitted by mhmdnekooeian on Thu Jun 06 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

215 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fluctuate
trend
percentage
age group
consistent
significant
decline
increase
peak
plateau
demographic
upward trend
downward trend
proportion
level off
escalate
diminish
interval
duration
prevalence
participation

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The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003

User Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what rneasures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?