The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003

#line #percentage #people #age #groups #video #games #ten #hours #week

This

line graph illustrates the data about the percentage of people who played video games more than 10 hours a week classified by their age between 2010 and 2015.

Overall

, what stands out from the graph is that the majority of the youngest group played video games more than 10 hours per week,

whereas

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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not as interested as their younger counterparts in playing video games and only a small minority proportion spent more than 10 hours a week on

this

type of hobby. By looking at the details, regarding individuals between 16 and 24, their

time

play increased sharply during the first 2 years of the period. It was followed a steady growth, after which it rose significantly reaching its peak at about 70%. With respect to

second

Add an article

the second

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age group which

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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consisted of folks between 45 and 54, at the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the given

time

frame, the

time

they devoted to playing plunged. After that the figure representing

this

age group

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

showed a robust rise to 50%. Having remained stable for several years, In 2015 the percentage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rose slightly to about 55%. Concerning other lines, it could be elucidated that despite being older, the people who were between 25 and 44 years old had less

time

to enjoy

such

an entertainments

Correct the article-noun agreement

entertainment

show examples

Submitted by mhmdnekooeian on Thu Jun 06 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fluctuate
trend
percentage
age group
consistent
significant
decline
increase
peak
plateau
demographic
upward trend
downward trend
proportion
level off
escalate
diminish
interval
duration
prevalence
participation

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The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.