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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summerize #information #features #comparisions
Contained in the plans is information pertaining to the modification which is predicted to be improved in the future.
Overall
 it can be seen that numerous amusement and commercial facilities are expected to be expanded significantly
such
 as a leisure
pool
, sports shop, cafe and other amenities,
while
 the central gadgets will be stably maintained. commencing with the western side of the plans, outdoor courts are going to be removed and leave rooms for a new leisure
pool
 with the walls covered. Adjacent to
this
pool
, in the south, will be a changing room which is next to the Sports shop near the entry entrance. Turning to the eastern side of the given plans, the other outdoor courts will be
also
 cleared for building up new amusing amenities
such
 as
studio
Correct article usage
a studio
show examples
 dance, sports hall,
another
Correct word choice
and another
show examples
 changing room at the south-east corner will
also
 be structured which is next to the cafe beside the entrance. Almost new surrounded gadgets will be built up with the exception of the main facilities like 25m
pool
, reception, sitting and changing room in the centre have no change.
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task achievement
While the essay provides a decent overview of the planned modifications to the sports center, try to include more specific details to give a fuller picture. For example, mention the exact locations of the new amenities in relation to existing structures.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to consistency in terminology. For example, you start by calling the new additions 'amusement and commercial facilities,' but later refer to them as 'amusing amenities.' Consistent language helps maintain clarity.
task achievement
The essay successfully captures the overall scope of the changes, mentioning new facilities like the leisure pool, sports shop, and dance studio.
coherence cohesion
A clear structure is evident, as the essay separates the discussion into western and eastern sides, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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