IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #adults #ages #uk #internet #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Contained in the bar chart is information relating to the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of daily Internet users in various
age
Use synonyms
 groups in the UK between 2003 and 2006
Overall
Linking Words
, all
age
Use synonyms
 groups experienced an upward trend over the period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, despite seeing a decrease in percentage, the 16-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 still had the most users among 5 different
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 Looking at the figures for people in
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, its number kept steady at 80% in 2003 and 2004.
This
Linking Words
proportion
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 rose to 100% before seeing a decrease to roughly 90% in 2006. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people aged 25-44, the
proportion
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Internet users rose nearly to 60% in 2004 from approximately 45%.
This
Linking Words
 number kept rising to roughly 70% in 2005 and 80% in 2006.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figures in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 experienced an
increase
Use synonyms
 from 60% in 2003 to nearly 65% in 2004.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 had a slight
increase
Use synonyms
 to exactly 80%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Moving onto the remaining two
age
Use synonyms
 groups, it is apparent that the numbers in the percentage were smaller. In reference to the individuals in
55
Correct article usage
the 55
show examples
-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 had a slight
increase
Use synonyms
 to approximately 32% in 2005 from roughly 30%.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was a rise to roughly 40% in 2007.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the percentage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who were over 65 saw a slight decrease to 26% in 2005 before seeing an
increase
Use synonyms
 to nearly 20%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, age, group, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: