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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart compares the average monthly
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in Paris,
Dubai
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
. In general,
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
 trends
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 opposite to the other two cities, and in most of
Add an article
the months
show examples
months
Add a comma
months,
show examples
Dubai
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
 was the highest. From
Januray
Correct your spelling
January
 to July, the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in Paris and
Dubai
Use synonyms
 were rising
while
Linking Words
 the figure in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was decreasing from 24
celdus
Use synonyms
 to 14
celdus
Use synonyms
.
And these
Correct word choice
These
show examples
 three
temperature
Use synonyms
 trends were different from August to December. the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in the two
Norhern
Correct your spelling
Northern
Hemisphere
Fix the agreement mistake
Hemispheres
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped sharply
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 15
Use synonyms
celdus
Correct your spelling
cells
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast,
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
 increased during that time. It is obvious that
Dubai
Use synonyms
 had the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
 from March to November which was all above 23
Use synonyms
celdus
Correct your spelling
degrees
. And its
temperatures
Use synonyms
 were approximately 15
Use synonyms
celdus
Correct your spelling
degrees
 higher than Paris's. From December to
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
temperatures
Use synonyms
 were the highest, but the gap with Bubai's was not big.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, dubai, sydney, temperature, celdus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperature
  • major cities
  • trends
  • temperature changes
  • comparisons
  • yearly pattern
  • geographical location
  • climate zones
  • significant variations
  • notable differences
  • peak temperatures
  • lowest temperatures
  • fluctuations
  • seasonal changes
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