Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
In recent years, the utilization of
land
has been drastically changing due to
varied
needs of Correct article usage
the varied
human
population. Add an article
the human
Although
some people believe that land
can be cleared to fufill
the growing needs of human beings, others are of the opinion that it should be protected to save wildlife Correct your spelling
fulfil
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
extincting
species. In my opinion, it is highly crucial to protect endangered Correct your spelling
extinct
extinction
animals
so as to maintain ecological balance.
It is true that humans are trying to clear off land
including Add an article
the land
forest
to satisfy their interests Fix the agreement mistake
forests
such
as building houses, constructing large industrial areas, and cultivating crops. Furthermore
, because of the exponential increase in population, they think that there are no other choices than cutting down trees. For instance
, in 2012, one of the famous industrialists in India converted forest
area to barren Correct article usage
a forest
land
in order to establish his industrial network despite restrictions from government
. Add an article
the government
Thus
, removal
of trees and plants Correct article usage
the removal
are
becoming a common trend among people because they assume that if Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
is not done, they would
not be able to Wrong verb form
will
acheive
their dreams of life.
Correct your spelling
achieve
On the contrary
, every year the number of animals
being extincted
is substantially increasing. Correct your spelling
extinct
In addition
, most of these animals
are rare and their extinction may cause detrimental effects to the environment. For example
, one of the surveys conducted in Australia reveals that endangerment
of Correct article usage
the endangerment
tiger
will create Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
huge
threat to the sustainability of some other Add an article
a huge
animals
. Thus
, it is essential to preserve land
for animals
to protect wild life
and Correct your spelling
wildlife
ecosystem
.
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
To conclude
, the prioritisation in
the use of Change preposition
of
land
for various purposes is a debatable topic. While
there are reasons to utilize it for human needs, it is equally critical to maintain some portion of the land
for wildlife. Considering these apsects
, I completely agree that animal needs must be given priority Correct your spelling
aspects
than
human needs to avoid adverse consequences on the environment.Change preposition
over
Submitted by gloriasherin on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
word choice
Try to diversify the vocabulary and avoid repetition of certain phrases like 'for example' and 'thus'.
grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy and avoid minor errors like 'extincting species' instead of 'extinct species'.
coherence
Include transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow and better coherence.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points.
examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which makes your points more convincing.
task response
The essay responds well to the task by discussing both views and giving a personal opinion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!