The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.

The line graph provides statistics on the distribution of the Australian labour force across five industrial sectors -

service

Use synonyms

agriculture

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, manufacturing,

construction

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, and mining - from 1962 to 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

service

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sector

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accounted for the largest share of the labour force throughout the years, exhibiting a consistent upward trend.

In contrast

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, all other figures saw comparatively fewer changes except for manufacturing, which notably declined during the 50-year timeframe. In 1962, the

service

Use synonyms

and manufacturing sectors employed the largest proportions of the Australian workforce. The former accounted for about 52%

while

Linking Words

the latter comprised approximately 26%. As the share of

service

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continued to surge, the reverse was true for manufacturing. By the 1980s, the

service

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sector

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continued to rise, reaching almost 70%,

while

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the manufacturing

sector

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declined to 17%. By the end of the period, the

service

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sector

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reached its chart-high of around 78%, and manufacturing decreased to just under 10%. The remaining three sectors -

agriculture

Use synonyms

construction

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, and mining - witnessed minor changes

overall

Linking Words

. In 1962,

agriculture

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and

construction

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accounted for 11% and 9% of the labour force, respectively. Despite periods of fluctuations,

construction

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edged ahead, reaching 10% by 2012,

while

Linking Words

agriculture

Use synonyms

fell slightly to 9%.

Conversely

Linking Words

, the mining

sector

Use synonyms

consistently represented a very small fraction of the workforce, remaining unchanged at just 2% throughout the period, having a chart-low contribution.

makemoneyizzy16

Jun 7, 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words service, agriculture, construction, sector with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

223 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
workforce
sector
decline
increase
transition
trend
innovation
efficiency
service-oriented economy
outsourcing
global trend
expanding
fluctuating
urban expansion
infrastructure development

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The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.

In some countries, there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?