If people go live in a new country, they should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With an ever-increasing concern about how to handle settlement in
the
Correct article usage
a
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new
country
, some
individuals
have opined that
individuals
should follow the
customs
and
traditions
of the new
country
if they go live in a new
country
.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
essay will,
however
, provide some reasons why I strongly disagree with the given opinion.
To begin
with, some
individuals
argue that
individuals
should follow the
customs
and
traditions
of the new
country
when moving to
new
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a new
the new
show examples
country
. From the perspective of children, they have been suffering from the lack of information and knowledge of new
country
due to
circumstances where making decisions of living in a new
country
have not
made
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been made
show examples
by
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on
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their own.
Therefore
, those groups of children can
be
Verb problem
apply
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actually
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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from the activated implementation of
settlement
Correct article usage
a settlement
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support program.
Furthermore
,
compare
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compared
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to random groups of children, without settlement support
program
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programs
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have
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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increased
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an increased
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understanding of social norms and perspectives. In spite of those reasons mentioned above, I completely contend that following the
customs
and
traditions
of the new
country
should not be the solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to foreign workers can illuminate a different perspective. The
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
priority of them is to maximize the connection and intimacy with their loved ones who are back in their
country
and
this
consequently
demonstrates that making
individuals
to
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apply
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focus on their
customs
and
traditions
through
same
Correct article usage
the same
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cultural background community.
Thus
, making decisions about following the
customs
and
traditions
should not be based
from
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on
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the sole side of representatives.
Moreover
,
ther
Correct your spelling
there
their
must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between living
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
new city and following the
customs
and
traditions
. In conclusion, some
individuals
believe that
individuals
should follow the
customs
and
traditions
to live in a new
country
.
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Nevertheless
Nebertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, I completely
Correct your spelling
believe
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that making settlements in
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
country
more achievable will require more
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
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considerations
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consideration
show examples
and the most relevant parties in the society should be entirely involved for more sustainable advantages.
Submitted by rachael0124 on

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task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt but could be clearer. Make sure to define your position explicitly and return to your central argument periodically.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure but can be more fluid. Transition words and phrases can improve flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Your points are somewhat supported, but including more specific examples and explanations can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to have a more coherent structure, linking each arguments more clearly with logical transitions.
task achievement
Community involvement and cultural integration are critical points but adding personal or historical examples would bolster your argument.
task achievement
You tackle the prompt directly and provide both perspectives before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs and a recognizable structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of terms like 'settlement support program' adds specificity and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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