The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?

Nowadays, the working world has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed and
workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cannot
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
from having the same job or working conditions. In my opinion, I believe that
one
of the
possibility
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possibilities
show examples
caused
Correct pronoun usage
that caused
show examples
this
issue is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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inflation
, and
one
of the best
way
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ways
show examples
from the millions is by increasing
workers
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workers'
worker's
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value, which I will elaborate more on
the
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in the
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following paragraph. As the world
become
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becomes
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globalized rapidly,
it is clear that
inflation
is
one
of the
reason
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reasons
show examples
why some people tend to
feel
Verb problem
find it
show examples
difficult to fulfill their daily
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
One
of the
impact
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impacts
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
is that the rising in
people
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people's
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basic needs prices,
such
as rice, sugar, and
also
oil. The research has shown that the increasing of
workers
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workers'
worker's
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wages
each year
are
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is
show examples
not as high as the
inflation
rate, and
this
can cause difficulties in
workers
to
fullfill
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fulfil
their basic needs.
For instance
, people with tiny
wages
are
Correct your spelling
often
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
survived, because their
wages
are only go
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are only going
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up by two to nine
percent
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per cent
show examples
each year, even some company did not level up their
workers
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worker's
workers'
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wages
,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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the
price
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rice
tend
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tends
show examples
to have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
rate to go up, even before
one
year period, the
price
of the rice will gain many times, depending on the supply and the demand, where the supply
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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in a low number, the
price
will certainly increase.
This
condition can make
workers
survive, where the
price
of their daily needs always grows, but their income
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
not follow.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, to help
workers
overcome
this
kind of
situasion
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situation
, I believe that by gaining more value in every
employees
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employee's
show examples
individuals
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individual
show examples
, it can
helps
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help
show examples
. By adding some ability to the
workers
, they can try to do side
jobs
aside from their main
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
.
For instance
, a private employee in the field of accounting with a stagnant income from their main
jobs
can earn more money if they do
such
as a private learning for high school students
,
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apply
show examples
after they learn the pedagogical knowledge on how to deliver the materials to the students like teacher did in schools.
This
is prove
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proves
show examples
that by adding some good value to the
workers
, they can do
a side
Correct the article-noun agreement
a side job
side jobs
show examples
jobs
can earn more money.
To conclude
,
it is clear that
things
such
as
inflation
could make a lot of
workers
cannot survive if they only
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
their life from their main job. To overcome
this
matter, it is better for the
workers
to learn something new that they can use to earn more money by doing some side
jobs
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic at hand, but it is essential to provide a more thorough response that covers multiple facets of why job stability is less reliable nowadays. Consider adding other factors like technological advancements, globalization, or changing business models.
coherence cohesion
Dividing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focused on a single main idea, can make it more organized and easier to follow. Ensure that there is a smooth transition between these paragraphs to better tie your ideas together.
task achievement
Expanding your explanations for each point and including more detailed, specific examples can significantly strengthen your argument. Focus on providing clarity and depth to your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Creating a structured outline will help you maintain a logical flow in your essay. Start with a clear introduction, followed by distinct body paragraphs, each focusing on a single main point, and conclude with a summarized conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the issue directly and provides a concise thesis statement, which clearly indicates the main focus of your arguments.
task achievement
The point about inflation affecting workers' ability to survive is relevant and timely, and demonstrates an understanding of current economic issues.
task achievement
Your argument about adding value to workers through additional skills and side jobs as a solution to inflation-induced challenges is insightful and constructive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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