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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

4.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
Most society are spending their
time
Use synonyms
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
some
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
platform
Use synonyms
 like
email
Use synonyms
 and text
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is challenging to
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
 new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 in real
life
Use synonyms
. I
totally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
totally
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
agree with the statement because most
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 can spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
focus
Correct your spelling
focusing on
show examples
 using the
platform
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the effects are
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of social
life
Use synonyms
, health and disturbing
Use synonyms
physicology
Correct your spelling
physiology
.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of social
life
Use synonyms
 in real
life
Use synonyms
 is
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they
are focus
Change the verb form
are focused
are focusing
show examples
to use
Change preposition
on using
show examples
 some
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
email
Use synonyms
 and text
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tools:
lectop
Correct your spelling
laptop
lector
 and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, so the effect is they do not have
friend
Add an article
a friend
show examples
 since they are spending their
time
Use synonyms
 at home
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 some
aplication
Correct your spelling
application
applications
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they do not have
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 health issues
most
Change preposition
for most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 if they
commnicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
However
Linking Words
, They are less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
active in daily routines, so it
is
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
impact
Correct pronoun usage
impact them
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
 overweight since
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
spending
Replace the word
spend
show examples
 much
time
Use synonyms
 to feedback
Use synonyms
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
 very much and
text
Fix the agreement mistake
texts
show examples
 from someone.
As a result
Linking Words
, they forget to
physical
Add a missing verb
do physical
show examples
 exercise.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
physicology
Correct your spelling
physiology
is address
Change the verb form
is addressed
is addressing
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society right now
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 online
aplication
Correct your spelling
application
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
real
life
Use synonyms
. they
have opinion
Verb problem
believe
show examples
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
simple
Change the word
simply
show examples
 using
email
Use synonyms
 than face-to-face but the bad impact is feeling lonely.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are disturbing mental
illnes
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 in their
life
Use synonyms
. so they need to less of using online
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to overcome their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
Use synonyms
physicology
Correct your spelling
and
 mental.
Conclusion
Tu sum up, most
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 are using some
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 online to communicate with different
people
Use synonyms
 but
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activity in daily
life
Use synonyms
, health and
distrubing
Correct your spelling
disturbed physical
physicology
Use synonyms
mental
Correct word choice
and mental
show examples
. I recommend
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reduce using some
Correct your spelling
platforms
platfrom
Correct your spelling
platforms
 to avoid
this
Linking Words
 address
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it will
terrible
Change the adjective
terribly
show examples
 impact their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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grammar
Ensure to proofread or use tools to check grammar and spelling mistakes as these can detract from the clarity of your arguments.
vocabulary
Try to expand your vocabulary and use a variety of sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
specificity
Support your points with more specific examples or statistics if possible. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
understanding
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have pointed out multiple reasons why modern communication methods might reduce face-to-face interactions.
structure
Your essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is very good.
coverage
You have addressed both social and psychological impacts, covering multiple dimensions of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern communication
  • social interactions
  • email
  • messaging
  • superficial connections
  • face-to-face interactions
  • emotional well-being
  • social skills
  • genuine relationships
  • technology integration
  • healthy relationships
  • balance
  • distant communication
  • impact on social lives
  • traditional communication methods
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