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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security. Othersthink people cannot always enjoy their jobs, so having a permanent job is more important.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security #othersthink #jobs
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In
this
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 day and age, having secured work is less important than satisfying
jobs
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,
while
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 having permanent
jobs
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 is argued as more important than gratifying
jobs
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 by others. In my opinion, I believe having a gratifying vocation is more essential than a protected duty. On the one hand, many individuals think that it is easier to get a good
job
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 if they are university graduates with a good degree.
Moreover
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, finding a
job
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 will be somehow protected and the worries about finding a vocation may be reduced,
therefore
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, a number of young people choose to get a diploma or other certification from some field of education.
Furthermore
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, there are many who prefer a constant average salary because of their distrust of risk.
In other words
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, we can find them as humans with low self-concern who emphasize secure duties.
On the other hand
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, there are a group of people that prefer being satisfied with their vocations even though they risk losing their
jobs
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,
according to
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 some. Over and above that, working is a durable activity for our entire lives, if so, why should individuals not find joy in their work? It is a fact that every day more and more humans are hired to new positions in many fields, which means that if you are not satisfied with one duty, try yourself in another until you find a position of employment that you enjoy.
To sum up
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, Some believe that prioritizing
job
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 satisfaction is better than focusing on
job
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 security,
while
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 others argue that having a stable
job
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 is more crucial as not everyone can always enjoy their work. I am firmly of the opinion that it is more principal for people to pursue a career they enjoy than secure permanent employment.
Submitted by oyatilloalisherov159 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea without deviating.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples can make your essay more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both views and provided your opinion in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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