Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Writing Task 1

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007.

Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table chart illustrates the data of students attending four secondary school types
during
Change preposition
from
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2000-2009 years
Overall
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the least proportion of students choose the specialist schools in each year.
In contrast
to that, voluntary-controlled direction is the most popular option among the pupils, with over 20% every period. Looking at the details, we can find out that ,in 2000 an upward tendency was in voluntary-controlled type education, which involved half of the participants.
While
, in 2009
this
statistic dropped to 20%.
Whereas
, community schools show a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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increase from 12% to 58% in the same year.
On the other hand
, there were
also
two educational systems that, stayed with around 11%.
Although
, grammar classes in
2000's
Fix apostrophe usage
2000s
show examples
were in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place after the voluntary colleges
Submitted by kajratakeev69 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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