in many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining.why do you think this is happening?how can this issue be solved?

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nowadays, human activities can have a negative effect on the lives of
animals
Use synonyms
and
plants
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which may result in decreasing the
rate
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Change preposition
of
show examples
them. in my opinion,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
problems
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come from deforestation and tourism
.there
Correct your spelling
There
is much that can be done to
solved
Change the form of the verb
solve
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
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constructively.
to begin
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with, there are a
lot
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of reasons that have a negative effect on
falling
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
rate
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of flora and funna.
firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
issue
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated from deforestation. because in
this
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materialistic lifestyle, not many people place a high value on protecting our ecosystems in order to save different types of innocent creatures and
plants
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.
in other words
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, a majority of individuals just focus on their profits for themselves to benefit from the advantage of the forest.
That is
Linking Words
why, tens of thousands of priceless trees are cut down to use in different aspects in order to make a
lot
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of money
.
Correct your spelling
Secondly
secondly
Linking Words
, tourism can
creates
Wrong verb form
create
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a
lot
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of
problems
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for the
animals
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and
plants
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by putting pressure on the local resources because of constructing the facilities and infrastructures, like hotels on the untouched nature.
this
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style can endanger the
habitaties
Correct your spelling
habitat
of wild
animals
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and a wide variety of
plants
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.
however
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, there are many ways to tackle these
problems
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.the main responsibilities are on the shoulders of the government against deforestation. because governments can avoid
this
Linking Words
action by introducing stricter laws and measures.since when the people are aware of the long-term dire
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
of their acts. they prefer to avoid
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
.
Moreover
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, to reduce the
rate
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of negative impact on nature, we can protect
this
Linking Words
place by employing many people who are interested in wildlife conservation as volunteers.
this
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way, doing a
lot
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of environmentally friendly can be a key step to save
animals
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and
plants
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. in conclusion, it is true that the problem of reducing the
rate
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of flora and funna will probably not be solved quickly.
however
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,
that is
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not a reason to avoid taking action. government and many environmental friends can help to reduce the number of
animals
Use synonyms
and
plants
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

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task achievement
Your essay lacks specific, detailed examples to support your points. Including more examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each of your paragraphs has a clear central idea and that your supporting points within paragraphs relate directly to that idea.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay have issues with clarity and grammatical accuracy. Consider revising these sections to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly and accurately.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing both the causes of the issue and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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