In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent's absence. Discussion

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parent #absence #discussion

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The increasing trend of dual-income households in today's competitive world. So

both

Use synonyms

of the

parents

Use synonyms

have to go out for work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they do not do

this

Linking Words

. They will face financial challenges and

also

Linking Words

it is very hard to manage the expenses with the income of one person. The scope of my essay is to look at

both

Use synonyms

perspectives. First and foremost, there are lots of benefits of additional income. With the help of

Add a comma

dual-income,

show examples

dual-income

Correct your spelling

dual income

show examples

anyone can give their children

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

education.

Moreover

Linking Words

, good healthcare can

be provide

Change the verb form

be provided

show examples

to the family. They can go for vacations and

also

Linking Words

enjoy

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities.

This

Linking Words

will help to maintain the

overall

Linking Words

stability.

Additionally

Linking Words

, if the income is high they can save some money for the future and minimise the monetary stress

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

caused

Linking Words

due

Change preposition

show examples

to lack of

low-income

Correct your spelling

low income

show examples

and more payments.

Furthermore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are the role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

of their children. In

this

Linking Words

situation

Add a comma

situation,

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

manage

both

Use synonyms

work and family duties to develop independence and responsibility. They become good examples in front of their

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

eyes. But the downside of

both

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

working-lack of emotional support and academic help to their children. They rely on external caregivers,

whereas

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

missing

Wrong verb form

miss

show examples

his\her

Correct your spelling

their

parental guidance.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

can use the

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

approach to

easily

Rephrase

apply

show examples

manage

the

Change the word

their

show examples

personal and professional

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

easily. They can opt for flexible hours jobs and find

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

opportunities

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the work from home and explore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time management techniques.

This

Linking Words

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

approach can mitigate the disadvantages

while

Linking Words

reatining

Correct your spelling

retaining

the advantages of dual-income

household

Fix the agreement mistake

households

show examples

. In

colclusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, I think the

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

approach is

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

option

to manage

Change preposition

for managing

show examples

the working life

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

can keep the things in mind that their kids

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

emotional support so they will

there

Add a missing verb

be there

show examples

for them all the time with the help of management.

Submitted by hazel@ on Sun Jun 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay tends to repeat some points and uses general statements which could be made more compelling by including specific examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from proofreading to fix minor grammatical and structural errors to enhance readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay's conclusion could be more definitive, summarizing the arguments more clearly and tying them together effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both perspectives on the topic.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by covering both the benefits and drawbacks of dual-income households.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
standard of living
extra-curricular activities
private education
financial stability
independence
responsibility
emotional support
academic support
parental guidance
strain on family relationships
external caregivers
flexible working hours
work-from-home opportunities
quality time management
balanced approach

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In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent's absence. Discussion

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the arts (such as music, literature, and theater) are more important than other subjects in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?