Completing university education is taught by them to be the best way to get a good job on the other hand other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important discuss both of you and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills

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It is considered by some

that is

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acadimic

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academic

learning important .

While

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other

people

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belived

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believed

believe

that having

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apply

show examples

real experience and improving soft

skills

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is the best way to get a job . In my

opinion

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opinion,

show examples

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show examples

think that a lot of

people

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have the same degree

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thats

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that

that's

why

student

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students

show examples

should

focues

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focus

focuses

on what can make them special

than

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from

show examples

others. On the one hand,

acadimic

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academic

education is the

faundation

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foundation

of your

proffesional

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professional

life . You will learn the

the

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apply

show examples

most

importent

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important

things in

you'r creare

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your career

. And you will get

a reliable information

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reliable information

a piece of reliable information

show examples

from reliable

profissers

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professors

providers

. For

exmapls

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example

examples

, if you are an

engneer

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engineer

you can't just have a job

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show examples

your Communication

skills

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solving proplem

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problem-solving

show examples

skills

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In addition

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pupiles

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pupils

can get

recomendation

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recommendation

letters from their university teacher . And

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thats

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that

will be

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a benifits

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benifits

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benefit

when they

aplay

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apply

for a job or

traning

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training

. For these

reason

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reasons

show examples

college education is

importent

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important

On the other hand

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, the

numbers

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number

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of graduation students

are

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has been

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icreasing

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increasing

over the

year

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years

show examples

. Having a

softe

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soft

softer

skilles

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skills

skilled

can make student one step

a head

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ahead

show examples

of others who not , and

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thats

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that

can be the deciding factors for

combanies

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companies

when they looking for new

imployee

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employee

employees

Moreover

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, having experience can broaden their

horizens

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horizons

and make them think in

adefirence

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deference

and deeper way. And it will be good for the

cambanies

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companies

as well

becuse

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because

they will not

losing

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lose

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time in

traning

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training

them. In

concude

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conclusion

, many

people

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belive

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believe

show examples

that

univercity

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university

can be enough

while

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other

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others

show examples

belive

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believe

show examples

that

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

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experience and developing soft

skills

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are

show examples

more important . With regard to my way

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show examples

thinking the

sertificate

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certificate

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important

importent

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important

but

their

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there

show examples

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are

show examples

many

people

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can

Correct pronoun usage

who can

show examples

have it

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thats

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that's

why

people

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should

Correct your spelling

focus

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

Change preposition

show examples

their advantages and try to improve them

Submitted by ananan2780 on Sun Jun 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

spelling grammar

Review your spelling and grammar. For example, 'acadimic' should be 'academic,' and 'profissers' should be 'professors.'

elaboration

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a real situation where soft skills significantly helped in getting a job.

cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow better. Phrases like 'Moreover' and 'In addition' can help but need to be used in a contextually fitting way.

task response

You have presented both sides of the argument, which addresses the task well.

structure

Your introduction and conclusion are present, aiding in essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
64
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical knowledge
specialized training
networking
baseline requirement
financial burden
hands-on experience
practical skills
soft skills
dynamic job market
entrepreneur
formal education
portfolio
hybrid approach

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Completing university education is taught by them to be the best way to get a good job on the other hand other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important discuss both of you and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of online shopping has transformed the way many people purchase goods. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or the same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work

Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter: say what job you have applied for explain why you want this job suggest what information the teacher should include Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own addresses

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many university students cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it?