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Band 4.5

Completing university education is taught by them to be the best way to get a good job on the other hand other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important discuss both of you and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
It is considered by some
that is
acadimic
Correct your spelling
academic
 learning important .
While
 other
people
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
 that having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real experience and improving soft
skills
 is the best way to get a job . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that a lot of
people
 have the same degree
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
 why
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should
focues
Correct your spelling
focus
focuses
 on what can make them special
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others. On the one hand,
acadimic
Correct your spelling
academic
 education is the
faundation
Correct your spelling
foundation
 of your
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
 life . You will learn the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
most
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 things in
you'r creare
Correct your spelling
your career
. And you will get
a reliable information
Remove the article
reliable information
a piece of reliable information
show examples
 from reliable
profissers
Correct your spelling
professors
providers
. For
exmapls
Correct your spelling
example
examples
, if you are an
engneer
Correct your spelling
engineer
you can't just have a job
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your Communication
skills
 or
solving proplem
Correct word choice
problem-solving
show examples
skills
 .
In addition
 ,
pupiles
Correct your spelling
pupils
 can get
recomendation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
 letters from their university teacher . And
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 will be
Correct article usage
a benifits
show examples
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefit
 when they
aplay
Correct your spelling
apply
 for a job or
traning
Correct your spelling
training
. For these
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 college education is
importent
Correct your spelling
important
.
On the other hand
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of graduation students
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
icreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 over the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. Having a
softe
Correct your spelling
soft
softer
skilles
Correct your spelling
skills
skilled
 can make student one step
a head
Correct your spelling
ahead
show examples
 of others who not , and
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 can be the deciding factors for
combanies
Correct your spelling
companies
 when they looking for new
imployee
Correct your spelling
employee
employees
.
Moreover
 , having experience can broaden their
horizens
Correct your spelling
horizons
 and make them think in
adefirence
Correct your spelling
deference
 and deeper way. And it will be good for the
cambanies
Correct your spelling
companies
 as well
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they will not
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 time in
traning
Correct your spelling
training
 them. In
concude
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, many
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
univercity
Correct your spelling
university
 can be enough
while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experience and developing soft
skills
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more important . With regard to my way
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 thinking the
sertificate
Correct your spelling
certificate
 is
Correct your spelling
important
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 but
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many
people
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
 have it
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 why
people
 should
Correct your spelling
focus
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their advantages and try to improve them
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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spelling grammar
Review your spelling and grammar. For example, 'acadimic' should be 'academic,' and 'profissers' should be 'professors.'
elaboration
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a real situation where soft skills significantly helped in getting a job.
cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow better. Phrases like 'Moreover' and 'In addition' can help but need to be used in a contextually fitting way.
task response
You have presented both sides of the argument, which addresses the task well.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present, aiding in essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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