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Band 2

in some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age . is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
it is often said that in many nations around the world ,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age .it is positive for them to get early and they will gain more opportunities for their growth. getting
job
Add an article
a job
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 early
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 children
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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better and they should gain more knowledge and opportunities to grow up after. for
eample
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example
, the trend nowadays is children start to get jobs and they want to earn money early , they would to make more profile and take
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
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 be better when they have more experience.
secondly
 , continued study
on
Change preposition
at
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 university and college with them
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 better than
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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job
Add an article
a job
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 early
sudy
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study
 and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 together are very hard for them to concentrate on
schoolor
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school or
school
work
.
for instance
 , more students choose to
work
 their way
throught
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through
 university because their family was so poor that they could not afford their
tutions
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tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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. in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that they should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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study for
Correct your spelling
a long
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along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 time and try to
work
 hard to become better in the future

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task achievement
Ensure your essay clearly addresses the prompt. In this case, while your essay discusses job opportunities and education, it does not specifically address whether making it illegal to reject job applicants based on age is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure in your essay. Your points appear somewhat disjointed and can be better connected with clear topic sentences and transitions.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples, explanations, or evidence. For instance, you can discuss specific benefits or drawbacks of age-based discrimination laws.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion should reiterate your stance on the issue and summarize your main arguments clearly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. This will help in effectively communicating your ideas.
task achievement
You have identified some key issues related to job opportunities and education, which are relevant to the topic of age discrimination in job applications.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which is a good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
What to do next:
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