IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries,it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.Is this a positive or negative development?

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There are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
impose
Correct pronoun usage
that impose
show examples
 a ban on
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 which do not receive the
applicantion
Correct your spelling
application
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on age.
This
Linking Words
 author believes
this
Linking Words
 is a negative phenomenon
due to
Linking Words
 it has
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 impact on the policy of
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 power like
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
advantage
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 and making
children
Use synonyms
 can not focus on study. It must be understood that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative point when companies get the application from
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means in recent
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
,there
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many people who
take
Wrong verb form
have taken
show examples
advantage
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the earn money purpose.
For example
Linking Words
,there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents who
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to do a job even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 weather
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 hot or
rain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
heavily
Change the word
heavy
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 to bring up them
as well as
Linking Words
 their parents.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 the
advantage
Use synonyms
 of
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of younger
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
teenagers could be dangerous when
join in
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 harmful business or toxic environment. Another factor that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the drawback when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 allow teenagers to do any job even
Change preposition
at their
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 young age.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 do not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to go to school like each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 or they will
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 fall behind
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their studies.Take those people to work their way through university
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance,they can not put their one hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the lesson.Result,they
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 give up and drop out of college,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will have a big impact on growth and
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development for companies to receive the applicant for their age since
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 an
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on younger.
Hence
Linking Words
,teenagers not only to easy to give up but
also
Linking Words
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 take
advantage
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve structure.
task achievement
Provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop each idea presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents clear viewpoints on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a reasonable framework for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
What to do next:
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