In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicant for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicant #age #development

Whether companies

rejecting

Wrong verb form

reject

show examples

job

applicants for their age is a recurring argument.

This

writer argues that there is a positive improvement

than

Change preposition

over

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its drawbacks. It is vital to understand that gaining

high level

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high-level

show examples

qualifications is the key to a successful career. Students should concentrate on their studies and transition from high school to university with distraction whilst maintaining focus on their academic goals, which they can benefit from in the future. Take the example of the architect, who has to study for several years at university, but once they

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduate

show examples

can enjoy a well-respected and highly paid

job

. It would not be possible to do

this

without the necessary qualifications,

therefore

young people should look at the bigger picture when considering whether to work after leaving school.

However

, young people can become

commercially

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commercial

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by finding a

job

straight after college. Earning a salary means no longer relying on parents of

family

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the family

show examples

for

economically

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economic

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support, plus they will

under count

Correct your spelling

undercount

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the value of money by realizing how long it takes to save for things they cannot afford.

For instance

, a student employed in

restaurant

Add an article

a restaurant

the restaurant

show examples

may have to work many months in order to purchase a new smartphone.

This

experience will

also

benefit them in the future and ensure they appreciate earning a higher salary after graduating from university. To encapsulate, there

Verb problem

apply

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a numerous

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apply

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positive

development

Fix the agreement mistake

developments

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when

reject

Change the verb form

rejecting

show examples

job

seekers

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seekers'

seeker's

show examples

future

Fix the agreement mistake

futures

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

young

Add an article

a young

the young

show examples

age.

This

can set them on the path to a brighter hereafter.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Your essay lacks a clear and direct response to the prompt. You should clearly state whether the prohibition on age-based job rejection is a positive or negative development. The current introduction is not clear and does not effectively present your argument.

task achievement

Your main points are somewhat supported but not fully developed. The examples should be directly relevant to the topic of age discrimination in hiring practices, rather than focusing on general education and employment benefits.

coherence cohesion

The essay suffers from some logical gaps and inconsistencies. Each paragraph needs to clearly support your main thesis. Consider organizing your essay with distinct paragraphs for each main point, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion is too brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or restate your thesis. A successful conclusion should clearly wrap up your argument and reiterate the main points of the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay attempts to deal with important issues such as education, employment, and financial independence, which are relevant to the broader context of job opportunities.

relevant specific examples

You have provided examples to illustrate your points, which is good practice. With some refinement, these examples can be made more relevant and effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicant for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts, and grandparents) were involved in bringing up children rather than only parents.

Many countries now face an economic downturn, so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money supporting the local film industry?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?