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Band 5

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive pr negative development ?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #pr #development
With the current globalization trend, there are some nations
suggest
Correct pronoun usage
that suggest
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 the policy,
Correct word choice
that which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is illegal
companies
Change preposition
for companies
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 to deny employment
applicants
Change preposition
to applicants
show examples
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on their
age
. In my opinion, I think
this
policy’s
Correct your spelling
policy is
show examples
 mainly a positive one. in my opinion, I think
this
 policy is mainly a positive one. One potential benefit of making it illegal for
companies
 to reject job
applicants
 based on their
age
 is that it promotes fairness and equality in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Age
 discrimination can be a major reason for older people who are looking for employment or trying to advance in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. By moving
this
 obstacle,
companies
 can tap into a wider pool of talent
ad
Correct your spelling
and
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 benefit from experience and skill from older people. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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, the tendency of
this
 phenomenon is
due to
 full of ex[recited and gain deeper work insight into employments.
However
, making it illegal to reject job
applicants
relied
Verb problem
based
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 on their
age
 could have negative consequences.
In other words
,
companies
 may be less willing to invest in training and development for older workers if they are worried about turnover or retirement.
This
 could limit opportunities for older workers to acquire new skills and adapt to changing technologies .
Additionally
 , it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 the way for younger
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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 when they
graduation
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graduate
show examples
 and low ability to reduce the amount of older people in some situations. Taking all points into
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
show examples
,
while
 there may be some potential
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 to making it illegal to reject job
applicants
depended
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on their
age
, the benefits of promoting fairness and quality in the workplace and tapping into the skills and experience of older labour.

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grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. This will improve the readability of your essay.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and demonstrate your language proficiency.
content
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the policy, demonstrating a balanced view.
structure
The introduction provides a clear stance on the issue, and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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