The charts below show average age of men and women retired from work in 7 countries in 2004 and 2008.

The charts below show average age of men and women retired from work in 7 countries in 2004 and 2008.
The charts illustrate the information about the standard
age
of both genders in retiring from work in 7 different nations between 2004 and 2008.
Overall
, it can be seen that the majority of individuals retiring from work were Swedishes in 2008,
whereas
, the opposite was true for those in
italy
Change the capitalization
Italy
show examples
.
Additionally
, there was a similarity in the average of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and women
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quitting jobs. Examining for
further
detail, regarding the figure of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
, in 2008, the
age
of men quitting jobs in Sweden was 63.5, which was the highest among other countries, followed by the
age
in 2004,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
63. There was a resemblance in the retired
age
of males in Germany and Denmark, at 60 and 61 over two separate
years
, respectively.
Moreover
, the figure for the
age
of quitting jobs in the Netherlands in two different
years
were 62 and 62,5, properly, which were higher by 1 and 1,5, compared to the UK. The tendency of retiring in Italy was the same in two
years
, by 58, which was lower than
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
by 1.5 and 1 respectively for 2
years
. Turning back to the remaining statistics, moving onto the chart of females, the trend of stopping working resembles
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
. It can obviously be observed that Swedish women had the highest standard
age
to quit a job in 2008, which was over 62, followed by the
age
in 2004,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
62.
In contrast
, Italy still had the lowest
age
as it was over 56 in 2004, after which it dropped to 56 in 2008. The Netherlands was in second place which was about 61 to 62 in a timeframe that lasted for 4
years
.
Moreover
, over a period of four
years
, the
age
of German women started at over 58 to 60 in 2008, which had the same trend
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the UK, from 60 to 61. There was a small disparity in the
age
between Denmark and France, by 1.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average age
  • retirement
  • comparative analysis
  • trend
  • significant
  • age gap
  • correlation
  • life expectancy
  • pension policies
  • societal norms
  • economic conditions
  • regions
  • investigation
  • findings
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