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Band 5

Some people think that the best way for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#people #government #traffic #congestion #cities #transport #hours #week #idea
A large majority of individuals believe that offering full-time public
transport
 without fee is the most workable solution to address the issue of
traffic
 jams in cities. I disagree with
this
 statement because
this
 method puts pressure on the national burden and there are
also
 some feasible ways to tackle
this
 problem. It must be acknowledged that government must invest a huge amount of money in maintaining
this
 service.
However
,
traffic
 congestion just occurs in rush hours when a large number of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 are on the
road
, which means that
this
 solution is unnecessary and underused in the remaining time of the day.
Therefore
, in
long-term
Add an article
a long-term
show examples
 period,
this
 will put
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
 burden on society that leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of national budget
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 key fields
such
 as education, healthcare, environment, industry, politics or national
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
As
show examples
 a result,
this
 measure can just insignificantly deal with
traffic
 issues
while
 it
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 a lot of risk on
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
budgetary
Replace the word
budget
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. Another point that should take into consideration is that there are
also
 some feasible ways to solve the problem of
traffic
 congestion in cities
such
 as making public
transport
 more
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 and upgrading the
road
 systems. It is believed that making public
transport
 more attractive by improving its quality, opening more departures in peak time to avoid fully-packed and
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
show examples
passenger’s
Change noun form
passenger
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 safety can encourage people to use it which is more practical than providing it without charge.
Moreover
, the improvement of
road
 systems can
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
 handle
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues as it provide a better condition for
commuter
Fix the agreement mistake
commuters
show examples
 on the
road
 and
also
minimize
Correct subject-verb agreement
minimizes
show examples
 incidents that may occur
due to
road
 quality.
Thus
, these methods are more economical than offering free public
transport
 full-time. In conclusion, reducing
traffic
 congestion by providing free public transportation 24/7 is impractical as it
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
Correct article usage
a financially
show examples
financially
Change the adverb
financial
show examples
 burden on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and there are some solutions that
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 viable to tackle
this
 problem.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame your argument. Keep up the good work in setting and closing your essays.
task achievement
You’ve done well in presenting clear ideas and arguments. Strengthening your main points with specific examples will elevate the essay further.
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