IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

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The plans illustrate the changes that have been made to Grance
Park
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, comparing its look on the first day of its launch in 1920, to how it looks now. In terms of location, the entrances remain at the same place and a new entrance to the underground car
park
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was added.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the rose garden in the top left remains the same. The rest of the
park
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has completely changed its look. Comparing emendates, a new cafe was built
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of a rose garden in the top right and a pond for water plants was replaced by a children's play area.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the seats that in 1920 were spread along the fence, today centralized around the rose garden, in the middle of the area. The old stage for the musicians was replaced by an
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre

The spelling of amphitheater is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 for concerts and
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of a glasshouse water feature was established.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the modern version of the
park
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is more orientated to children and has
upgraded
Correct article usage
an upgraded

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 place for music
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances

It seems that performance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
provides additional services,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 and underground parking facilities,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, fewer plants are presented.

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction gives a clear overview of both plans being compared, rather than just stating that there are changes. This sets up the context more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The description can benefit from some smoother transitions between comparing different parts. This ensures the writing flows better for the reader.
task achievement
Mentioning specific changes with clearer examples and explanations can strengthen your argument and make comparisons sharper.
coherence cohesion
You maintain a clear structure in the essay. The introduction, body, and comparison sections are discernible and logically follow one another.
task achievement
The main changes in the park are well noted. You accurately describe what has replaced what and the general trend of the changes.
task achievement
A good level of detail is provided in the descriptions. You mention specific examples like the new café, amphitheater, and centralized seating arrangement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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