IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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the given maps
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the development of Queen Mary Hospital which happened
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1960.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
although
Linking Words
 most of
facilities
Add an article
the facilities
show examples
 have been changed after 40
years
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 200.
Additionally
Linking Words
,there were more facilities for healthcare in 1980 than in 2000
To begin
Linking Words
 with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 20
years
Use synonyms
, there were more
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
 in 1980.The space for farmland was replaced by a nursing school .
Moreover
Linking Words
, a shopping centre was removed to a cancer
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 a pharmacy in 1980.
In contrast
Linking Words
, a car park was still kept in the same place after 20
years
Use synonyms
. Turning to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 20
years
Use synonyms
,despite the remaining
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a nursing school and a car park,they both had a decrease in size .
While
Linking Words
 a cancer
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 increased in size dramatically in 2000.In 2000'map , a pharmacy
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 still as same as 1980's map
although
Linking Words
 most of
others
Add an article
the others
show examples
 have been redeveloped in size or situation

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial facilities
  • replacement
  • significant extension
  • absorbed
  • developments
  • introduction
  • adjacent
  • evolution
  • enhancing healthcare services
  • commercial spaces
  • medical facilities
  • expansion
  • modern healthcare needs
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