Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#science #people #years

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Extending

human

Correct article usage

the human

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life span through scientific

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

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is currently viewed as a potential advantage by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society.

While

Linking Words

others think that

this

Linking Words

could cause problems and could make the situation much worse.

However

Linking Words

, I will be discussing both views but will mostly lean towards the latter one. On one hand, increasing

longetivity

Correct your spelling

longevity

could possibly help to sustain human resources with great experience to minimize chaos in the

economics

Replace the word

economy

show examples

. In

addtion

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addition

, family members

such

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as your grandparents will gain more time to spend with their

grand children

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grandchildren

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. The

economical

Replace the word

economic

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and social cohesion gives it an edge for science to improve human life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

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in population

due to

Linking Words

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

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in death could potentially lead to competition for resources

such

Linking Words

as job opportunities, land and food.

In addition

Linking Words

, the cost of living will significantly rise as the population has to bear elders with special health needs to

Correct your spelling

continuously

continously

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continuously

sustain

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

there

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their

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Correct your spelling

longevity

longetivity

Correct your spelling

longevity

. Innovations will slow down as sustainability becomes the centre of attention. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

science could increase the life span of humans by an extra hundred years it could potentially benefit us

Change preposition

as a

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species if we figure out a way to manage and share our resources responsibly

between

Change preposition

with

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each other.

Submitted by onlineconsumer on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Work on expanding your main points with more detailed supporting arguments and specific examples to enhance the relevancy and depth of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your work to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'longetivity' (should be 'longevity'), 'there' (should be 'their'), etc., to improve clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your position.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the government, while others think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies that cause them. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.