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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented graph and table provide data on
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 globally between 1900 and 2000,
as well as
Linking Words
 a comparison between
Brazil
Use synonyms
 and
Congo
Use synonyms
 in 2000. As an
overall
Linking Words
 trend, three sectors used
water
Use synonyms
 increasingly over the century,
while
Linking Words
 the table sustains
this
Linking Words
 argument with the provided data on those two countries. First and foremost, in 1900 the agriculture sector used about one-half of 1000
square
Use synonyms
km
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
, increasing steadily until 1940 to approximately 900
square
Use synonyms
km
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it soared to just about 3000
square
Use synonyms
km
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Industrial and domestic sector
usage
Use synonyms
 was near 0 in 1900,
then
Linking Words
 followed the same mildly upward trend until 1950. After that, they began to considerably rise to just above 1000
square
Use synonyms
km
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in the industrial sector and more or less 200 for the domestic one in 2000.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the given table
Brazil
Use synonyms
 had 176 million generated by
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 the Democratic Republic of
Congo
Use synonyms
 only 5.2 million. In
Brazil
Use synonyms
, an area of 26.500
km
Use synonyms
 was covered, in comparison with
Congo
Use synonyms
 with 100
km
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 was used in 359
square
Use synonyms
 meters and in
Congo
Use synonyms
 just 8. Over the century, the consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 increased gradually until 1950,
then
Linking Words
 rocketed from that on to 2000.
Also
Linking Words
, we can see that
Brazil
Use synonyms
 covered a much more area for the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the Democratic Republic of
Congo
Use synonyms
 was way behind.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, brazil, congo, square, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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