The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts provide information about the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
rate, which is
accompnied
Correct your spelling
accompanied
by
portions'
Change noun form
portions
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
, in the UK between 1988 and 2012. Looking
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
an
overall
perspective,
it is clear that
the majority proportion of hiring occupies males' full-time jobs.
However
, the lowest one belongs to
mens'
Change noun form
men's
show examples
part-time types in both years. It is evident that in 1988,
males
Change noun form
males'
male's
show examples
tendency towards full-time occupations
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
higher than
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
part-time
Change preposition
of part-time
show examples
ones.
However
, as men's preferences towards full-time jobs
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
high, the rate of part-time occupations
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
more popular among women in 1988. It is
referred
Verb problem
reported
show examples
that the ratio of men's employment in full-time jobs decreased dramatically from 53% in 1988
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to 47% in 2012.
However
, part-time males' employment came down slightly over these years.
In addition
, Females'
tendency
Fix the agreement mistake
tendencies
show examples
completely changed over these years. Females' hiring priority changed to full-time occupations, which rose 7%. In stark contrast, the part-time types went down from 22% to 20%.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: