Cách mạng Công nghiệp 4.0 đang diễn ra. Nó mang đến cho nhân loại cơ hội để thay đổi bộ mặt các nền kinh tế qua Internet vạn vật, các hệ thống thực ảo, giao tiếp, cộng tác với nhau.
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Nowadays, more and more people are able to approach the internet, leading to e-learning has exploded. With the population of e-learning, some people believe that physical
classrooms
are Replace the word
redundant
redundancy
. As Replace the word
redundant
a
author of Change the article
an
this
essay, I totally disgree
with Correct your spelling
disagree
this
statement due to
the limitation in communicating
skills and the lack of assistance during studying. First of all, learning Replace the word
communication
at
the traditional classroom Change preposition
in
provide
Change the verb form
provides
students
the opportunities to meet other students
and friends. In the
other words, assisting their Correct article usage
apply
communicating
abilities through working with other Replace the word
communication
students
, while
e-learning do
not have many opportunities to talk with Change the verb form
does
classmate
or teachers. For Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
examples
, interactive activities and live discussions allow Fix the agreement mistake
example
students
to enhance their communicating
skills and Replace the word
communication
confidences
during talking with strangers. Fix the agreement mistake
confidence
Furthermore
, the existance
of traditional Correct your spelling
existence
classrooms
is becoming vital due to
the development of technology. because more and more courses such
as physic
or chemistry Replace the word
physics
are being needed
the live Wrong verb form
need
intructions
from the teachers, which e-learning Correct your spelling
instructions
do
not have. Correct subject-verb agreement
does
For instance
, having a science laboratory at home are
not budget-friendly and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
also
unsafe for everyone to practise with. In conclusion, traditional classrooms
are vital due to
the development of children, so e-learning is not making conventional classrooms
redundancy
.Replace the word
redundant
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task achievement
Your essay provides a relevant response to the task, but there are some areas for improvement. First, ensure that you address all parts of the question thoroughly. Consider the advantages and disadvantages of both e-learning and traditional classrooms and provide more balanced viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, pay more attention to the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words and phrases can help achieve this. For example, transitional phrases like "On the other hand" or "However" can improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is well-supported with clear and specific examples. While your points are relevant, they could be more robustly backed up with detailed explanations and examples. This will help in achieving a higher score.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, clearly stating your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes the main points, which strengthens the essay's cohesion.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion