Some people believe that a year off between school and university could be advantageous for school leavers, while others disagree for many reasons. Discuss both sides of this debate. What is your own view on this?
The issue of gap
year
has triggered a heated debate. While
It is said that taking a year
off between school
and university
is detrimental for school
graduates, others support this
activity for a variety of reasons. There are arguments on both sides, which I will discuss here.
On the one side, opponents of taking a gap year
argue that young students
are very likely to encounter several difficulties when delaying their university
study
. One of these problems is the delay in academic progress caused by spending one Fix the agreement mistake
studies
year
off school
. It is understandably almost impossible for young people to enjoy their experiences in doing a job or travelling to a new place but still arrange a certain amount of time for revision. As a result
, gap-year
takers may have to face the challenge of becoming familiar with the knowledge at school
again, receiving more pressure of catching
up with their peers. Change preposition
to catch
Besides
, the
life Correct article usage
apply
out
of Change preposition
outside
university
campus may prove to be mentally and physically overwhelming for inexperienced Correct article usage
the university
school
leavers. They, for instance
, may be at risk of being exploited in an exhausting job or face potential dangers on their trips to a new country. If not well prepared for such
possible obstacles, young high school
graduates can suffer from unintended consequences.
On the other side, proponents of this
view say that a gap year
is an ideal opportunity for students
to learn about what is not taught at university
. Working with other people who are experts in a particular field can give these newcomers not only understanding
of the job but Correct article usage
an understanding
also
valuable practical lessons to help them become more mature. When it comes to applying for a position in a company, employers tend to favorably
consider applicants who possess extensive experience in life and the occupation. Change the spelling
favourably
Furthermore
, in terms of recreation, having a year
to relax can be advantageous as students
can have a chance to relieve stress in study. With a comfortable and willing attitude, undergraduates can acquire knowledge more effectively in comparison with those who go to university
straightaway
.
Correct your spelling
straight away
Overall
, it seems to me that working or traveling
before Change the spelling
travelling
students
start their education in university
is worth implementing because of the positive impacts such
as valuable practice and relaxation for students
who get stressed in studying. This
is provided that students
keep their interest in studying to ensure better academic performance in university
.Submitted by k a l l a on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, you can refine the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences could be made simpler and more direct. For example, the sentence 'It is understandably almost impossible for young people to enjoy their experiences in doing a job or travelling to a new place but still arrange a certain amount of time for revision' can be simplified for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in tone and avoid repetition of phrases to maintain a smooth flow throughout the essay. For instance, try to use a variety of expressions instead of repeating 'gap year' multiple times.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced discussion by addressing both sides of the argument. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and ties together the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, making it easy to follow your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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