Today, the high sales of popular customer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modernization
world Replace the word
modern
advertisement
is one of the important part
of it. Fix the agreement mistake
parts
This
is the platform to connect the product
and the consumer. Most of
Change preposition
apply
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
products
are selling
through Wrong verb form
sold
the
Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
and people
tend to buy that product
even that
is not required. I strongly support Correct word choice
if that
this
statement by below mentioned points.
Initially
, technology has developed in to
sky level in today’s world. Most Join the words
into
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are using internet
, Add an article
the internet
hence
, many products
will reach to
the public Change preposition
apply
by
Change preposition
through
advertisement
only and this
is an undeniable truth. Moreover
, celebrities are contributing in
the Change preposition
to
advertisement
and to introduce the new products
in the market. Thus
, the fans who are following them are getting more interested to purchase
that Change preposition
in purchasing
product
even Correct word choice
if that
that
item is Correct determiner usage
the
high
cost that Add an article
the high
a high
not
considered.
Add a missing verb
is not
Furthermore
, no one can’t tell whether this
is the main product
for people
to purchase. Everyone have
own contemplative capacity and they know what to buy. Wrong verb form
has their
Hence
, that is
not necessary all
the Change preposition
for all
advertisement
companies should promote the product
which are required mostly for all of the Fix the agreement mistake
products
people
. Additionally
, people
can only decide what they need to purchase. Whilst, advertisement
is a platform and it can captivate easily the individual person’s mind and increase the aspiration to buy the products
.
Eventually, advertisement
is one of inevitable
Correct article usage
the inevitable
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
for
the marketing field and it can only Change preposition
of
possible
to improve the sales of any Add a missing verb
be possible
products
among the public. Simultaneously, people
can only decide the
Correct word choice
whether the
product
will give
Verb problem
be
a
beneficial for them and Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
is only for the promotion of that product
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coherence c
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stick to one main idea per paragraph. For instance, separate the points about internet usage and celebrity endorsements into distinct paragraphs for better structure.
task response
While your main points are clear, ensure that each point is fully developed with specific examples and explanations. For example, you could elaborate on how specific advertisements influence consumer behavior or provide data supporting the claim.
general
Avoid redundancy and improve clarity by correcting grammatical issues and slightly rephrasing sentences for better readability.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a structured format for your essay.
task response
You've mentioned relevant points such as the impact of celebrities and the role of advertisement in influencing consumer behavior, which are pertinent to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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