Today, the high sales of popular customer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modernization

Replace the word

modern

show examples

world

Use synonyms

is one of the important

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of it.

This

Linking Words

is the platform to connect the

product

Use synonyms

and the consumer. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

products

Use synonyms

are

selling

Wrong verb form

sold

show examples

through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

and

people

Use synonyms

tend to buy that

product

Use synonyms

even

Linking Words

that

Correct word choice

if that

show examples

is not required. I strongly support

this

Linking Words

statement by below mentioned points.

Initially

Linking Words

, technology has developed

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

sky level in today’s world. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are using

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

hence

Linking Words

, many

products

Use synonyms

will reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the public

Change preposition

through

show examples

Use synonyms

only and

this

Linking Words

is an undeniable truth.

Moreover

Linking Words

, celebrities are contributing

Change preposition

show examples

the

Use synonyms

and to introduce the new

products

Use synonyms

in the market.

Thus

Linking Words

, the fans who are following them are getting more interested

to purchase

Change preposition

in purchasing

show examples

that

product

Use synonyms

even

Correct word choice

if that

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

item is

high

Add an article

the high

a high

show examples

cost that

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

considered.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, no one can’t tell whether

this

Linking Words

is the main

product

Use synonyms

for

people

Use synonyms

to purchase. Everyone

have

Wrong verb form

has their

show examples

own contemplative capacity and they know what to buy.

Hence

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

not necessary

all

Change preposition

for all

show examples

the

Use synonyms

companies should promote the

Use synonyms

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

which are required mostly for all of the

people

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can only decide what they need to purchase. Whilst,

Use synonyms

is a platform and it can captivate easily the individual person’s mind and increase the aspiration to buy the

products

Use synonyms

. Eventually,

Use synonyms

is one of

inevitable

Correct article usage

the inevitable

show examples

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the marketing field and it can only

possible

Add a missing verb

be possible

show examples

to improve the sales of any

products

Use synonyms

among the public. Simultaneously,

people

Use synonyms

can only decide

the

Correct word choice

whether the

show examples

product

Use synonyms

will

give

Verb problem

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beneficial for them and

Use synonyms

is only for the promotion of that

product

Use synonyms

smsundaram57Tue Jun 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence c

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stick to one main idea per paragraph. For instance, separate the points about internet usage and celebrity endorsements into distinct paragraphs for better structure.

task response

While your main points are clear, ensure that each point is fully developed with specific examples and explanations. For example, you could elaborate on how specific advertisements influence consumer behavior or provide data supporting the claim.

general

Avoid redundancy and improve clarity by correcting grammatical issues and slightly rephrasing sentences for better readability.

introduction conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a structured format for your essay.

task response

You've mentioned relevant points such as the impact of celebrities and the role of advertisement in influencing consumer behavior, which are pertinent to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? What kind of jobs should have a work uniform?
Nowadays, employees must obey the rules by wearing uniforms to look formal and neat. A lot of communities and enterprises request their workers to be outfitted in uniform. My essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks from my perspective.
8.5
band
You recently visited a tourist attraction in another city. Write a letter to a friend describing your experience. In your letter: Describe the tourist attraction you visited. Explain why you chose to visit it. Share your impressions and experiences. Invite your friend to visit the attraction with you in the future.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am sharing my recent experience at the Omaha City Zoo with you.
6.5
band
In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?
In the present age, people have dramatically changed the way they live, which in turn aﬀects their family relationships. Personally, I think this tendency comes with both positive and negative eﬀects.
6
band
Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
The majority of individuals say that living in the suburban area of the town and also villages is more beneficial for the health of people, for some think that one of the best environments exists in the developed cities which fosters either health or physical skills.While cities are a noticeable condition, these days the environment of the cities negatively on the number of individuals' health.I completely disagree with this statement, because living in the villages is better for strength than city life.
6
band
Several people believe that the school must do the basic finance skill to their student. How far you agree or disagree with this statement?
I so agree that the school must do the basic finance skill for the student. In modern society, the ability to manage personal finances is an important skill that makes the individual's life safer, more prosperous, and more independent.

Today, the high sales of popular customer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? What kind of jobs should have a work uniform?

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Several people believe that the school must do the basic finance skill to their student. How far you agree or disagree with this statement?