Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests comma and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some people believe that self-information such
as personal interests and marital status, which are being asked in job applications are considered significant, others claim that such
details
should not be required for employers. In my opinion, sharing personal details
gives an overall
perspective of the applicant's personality which is vital for job prospects. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and try to reach a conclusion.
On the one hand, private data is mandatory in terms of work- life
balance. Knowing whether a Correct your spelling
work-life
candidate
is married or single can gives
management an idea about their possible work-life balance. Change the verb form
give
For example
, single applicant
might be more flexible with working hours, Fix the agreement mistake
applicants
while
married candidate
might prefer more structured schedules. Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
Moreover
, sharing personal data hit the ground running to meet its relevance to team dynamics. Personal information such
as hobbies and interests can contribute to understanding whether a candidate
fit
well within the team or organisational culture. Change the verb form
fits
For instance
, someone who enjoys team sports might work well in collaborative environments.
On the other hand
, asking for personal information is a privacy concerns
. Applicant might feel uncomfortable sharing personal Change the noun form
concern
details
that they consider irrelevant to their personal abilities, leading to issues with privacy and personal boundaries. Furthermore
, asking for personal interests can lead to conscious or unconscious bias during the hiring process. For example
, an employer might favour single candidates over married ones, assuming that they can commit more time to the job. Hence
, personal information may divert attention from more significant professional attributes.
To conclude
, although
sharing personal details
proves to be fruitful by providing overll
views of the Correct your spelling
overall
candidate
's personality, professional characteristics should not be detract
. As of now, I think it should be followed religiously.Change the verb form
detract
Submitted by krnveerrsingh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Content
Your essay provides a balanced discussion on both views and states your opinion clearly, which is excellent for task achievement. However, ensure that your points are always directly relevant to the topic and strengthen them with more specific examples or evidence.
Grammar & Punctuation
There were minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases in some sentences. It would help to review these sections and aim for smoother, more accurate expression.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases more frequently to improve the logical flow and connectivity of your sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Content
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your opinion, which is a strong start and contributes well to task achievement.
Structure
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each point of discussion. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your opinion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!