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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago nad how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago nad how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #nad #summarise #information #features #comparisions
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When you enter the entrance of the library today,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is a cafe on your right hand and a computer
room
Use synonyms
 on your left hand, which used to be an enquiry desk and reading
room
Use synonyms
 20 years ago.
As services
Correct word choice
Services
show examples
 dealing with tickets, book rentals and returns have shifted from person-to-person to computer using the self-service machines between the information desk and the cafe. The adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 area was moved to the current place on the right side of the library behind the information desk. The children's book corner was replaced by the lecture
room
Use synonyms
 and it is given more
room
Use synonyms
 for children's fiction
books
Use synonyms
 with two
sofa
Change to a plural noun
sofas
show examples
 and a space story
telling
Verb problem
storytelling
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 events on the opposite side. Tables and chairs in the centre were taken away and there is more space. The adult non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
 seem to be united into the corner of all reference
books
Use synonyms
. The section
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 CDs, videos and computer games seems to be removed now.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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