IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #hours #men #women #week #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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the given chart illustrates the proportion of
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
 of both genders who worked each week in the year 2007.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2007 , the amount of time females spent working
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than males from 0 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 but between 30 and 80
hours
Use synonyms
 it was
complete
Add an article
the complete
show examples
 opposite .
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 which women and men spent on work was the same in
this
Linking Words
 period. From 0 to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 , 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of women workers was 3 times as much as the men .With around 22,5 proportion, the female still doubles the percentage of the males
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the range of 10 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
. Approximately 42,5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of men spend 30 to 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
while
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 range of
hours
Use synonyms
 , women only had 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of the the total.From 60 to 80
hours
Use synonyms
, the figure for male workers was 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is double the proportion for females .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 the percentage in both genders was the same.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Hours worked
  • Overall trend
  • Significant differences
  • Similarities
  • Peaks
  • Full-time
  • Part-time
  • Overtime
  • Proportion
  • Represented
  • Categories
  • Variations
  • Societal roles
  • National employment policies
  • Predominantly
  • Engaging in
  • Comparison
  • Domestic duties
  • Employment trends
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