IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of average family expenditure in a particular country in weekly revenue in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
food
Use synonyms
 was the highest spent in 1968,
while
Linking Words
 in 2018,
food
Use synonyms
 experienced a decrease and housing and leisure overtake.  In detail, in 1968,
food
Use synonyms
 was the biggest contributor to expenditure, accounting for 35% of weekly income, and it felt a dramatic decrease in 2018 of just under 20%.
While
Linking Words
 the others outlay only around 10% of their weekly income in 1968, only housing, clothing, and footwear were around 10%; the others were just under 10%. 
Conversely
Linking Words
, in 2018, housing and leisure accounted for the biggest contributors
outlay
Fix the infinitive
to outlay
show examples
 and exceeded
food
Use synonyms
; the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing and leisure was around 20%. Meanwhile, transport was up just under 15%; it is almost triple.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the other outlays remained stable at just under 10% of their weekly income.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 4 times.
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