“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
#“prevention #cure” #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #prevention #measures
It is argued that protection from disease is more
benefical
to the society than treatment of sickness. I totally agree with Correct your spelling
beneficial
this
statement as the expenses for medical intervention is
a burden on the economy, and healthy Correct subject-verb agreement
are
residence
will be more productive Replace the word
residents
with
ideal Change preposition
in
health
situtions
.
These days, Correct your spelling
situations
situation
nation
face global Fix the agreement mistake
nations
fesical
inflation without the ability to Correct your spelling
fiscal
medical
coop up
with any additional financial burden. Verb problem
cope
Thus
, health
sector is the most obvious strain on the annual governmental budgets. Add an article
the health
Therefore
, the reasonable solution is to alocate
Correct your spelling
allocate
locate
monetary
Correct article usage
a monetary
amount
to hone the Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
health protective
Add a hyphen
health-protective
measures
by improving primary health
care units, increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
awareness, and focus
on regular Wrong verb form
focusing
vacination
Correct your spelling
vaccination
to
most of the population. Change preposition
for
This
will eventually lead to a healthy society with no unnecessary expenses on curative measures
. A prime example of this
,
is the average life span of Western nations Remove the comma
apply
has been
over age Wrong verb form
is
sixty five
years old, which is an Add a hyphen
sixty-five
idecator
of Correct your spelling
indicator
sucessful
disease preventive Correct your spelling
successful
measures
.
A person without any sickness is a productive individual for his family, society, and overall
country. Meanwhile, an
unhealthy ones demand Correct article usage
apply
thier
state Correct your spelling
their
intervetion
to cure them. Correct your spelling
intervention
Thus
, all the nation's benefits from progress, empowerment, and improved standards of living will be endanger
. The Change the verb form
be endangered
fully
potential for flourishing the economy is in jeopardy with sick workers, as Change the word
full
thier
productivity significantly Correct your spelling
their
decline
. In Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
addtion
, medical Correct your spelling
addition
asisstance
is mandatory which will raise the Correct your spelling
assistance
economical
Replace the word
economic
stain
in general. Correct your spelling
strain
For instance
, the global economy had been sluggish during the Corona Virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
due to
the pause of supply
chain for Add an article
the supply
manufacture
all over the Replace the word
manufacturers
wold
Correct your spelling
world
because
the risk of more Add the preposition
because of
spreaking
of the outbreak.
In conclusion, I totally agree that the benefits Correct your spelling
speaking
spreading
from
Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
health protective
Add a hyphen
health-protective
measures
will outweigh the traditional curative methods. The main aim is secure
the life prosperity for every human being.Fix the infinitive
to secure
Submitted by ahmed_berry310eg on
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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and reducing typos. For example, 'fesical' should be 'fiscal' and 'coop up' should be 'cope.'
clarity
Enhance the clarity of your points by avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring logical connections between your ideas. For example, simplify 'protection from disease is more benefical' to 'preventing diseases is more beneficial.'
structure
Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the main points discussed in your body paragraphs.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the topic by emphasizing the importance of preventive measures over curative methods.
task response
There are relevant examples provided, such as the life span in Western nations and the economic impact of the Corona Virus pandemic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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