“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that protection from disease is more
benefical
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beneficial
to the society than treatment of sickness. I totally agree with
this
statement as the expenses for medical intervention
is
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are
show examples
a burden on the economy, and healthy
residence
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residents
show examples
will be more productive
with
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in
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ideal
health
situtions
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situations
situation
. These days,
nation
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nations
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face global
fesical
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fiscal
medical
inflation without the ability to
coop up
Verb problem
cope
show examples
with any additional financial burden.
Thus
,
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
sector is the most obvious strain on the annual governmental budgets.
Therefore
, the reasonable solution is to
alocate
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allocate
locate
monetary
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a monetary
show examples
amount
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amounts
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to hone the
health protective
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health-protective
show examples
measures
by improving primary
health
care units,
increase
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increasing
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the
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apply
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health
awareness, and
focus
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focusing
show examples
on regular
vacination
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vaccination
to
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for
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most of the population.
This
will eventually lead to a healthy society with no unnecessary expenses on curative
measures
. A prime example of
this
,
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apply
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is the average life span of Western nations
has been
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is
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over age
sixty five
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sixty-five
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years old, which is an
idecator
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indicator
of
sucessful
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successful
disease preventive
measures
. A person without any sickness is a productive individual for his family, society, and
overall
country. Meanwhile,
an
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apply
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unhealthy ones demand
thier
Correct your spelling
their
state
intervetion
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intervention
to cure them.
Thus
, all the nation's benefits from progress, empowerment, and improved standards of living will
be endanger
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be endangered
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. The
fully
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full
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potential for flourishing the economy is in jeopardy with sick workers, as
thier
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their
productivity significantly
decline
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declines
show examples
. In
addtion
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addition
, medical
asisstance
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assistance
is mandatory which will raise the
economical
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economic
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stain
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strain
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in general.
For instance
, the global economy had been sluggish during the
Corona Virus
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coronavirus
show examples
pandamic
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pandemic
due to
the pause of
supply
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the supply
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chain for
manufacture
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manufacturers
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all over the
wold
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world
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because
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because of
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the risk of more
spreaking
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speaking
spreading
of the outbreak. In conclusion, I totally agree that the benefits
from
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of
show examples
the
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apply
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health protective
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health-protective
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measures
will outweigh the traditional curative methods. The main aim is
secure
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to secure
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the life prosperity for every human being.
Submitted by ahmed_berry310eg on

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and reducing typos. For example, 'fesical' should be 'fiscal' and 'coop up' should be 'cope.'
clarity
Enhance the clarity of your points by avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring logical connections between your ideas. For example, simplify 'protection from disease is more benefical' to 'preventing diseases is more beneficial.'
structure
Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the main points discussed in your body paragraphs.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the topic by emphasizing the importance of preventive measures over curative methods.
task response
There are relevant examples provided, such as the life span in Western nations and the economic impact of the Corona Virus pandemic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious disease outbreaks
  • cost-effective
  • advanced illnesses
  • healthcare facilities
  • healthcare professionals
  • allocation of resources
  • quality of life
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • early detection
  • socioeconomic benefits
  • absenteeism
  • ethical obligation
  • public health outcomes
  • health budget
  • diverted
  • healthcare burden
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