The compares shows percentage of water used in different places in Sydney. Australia in 1997 and 2007.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
The compares
compares Remove the redundancy
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percentageAdd an article
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of
used in different places in Sydney. Australia in 1997 and 2007.
Body paragraph 1
there are 5 different sectors of used
,
highestCorrect article usage
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food
lowestCorrect article usage
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building
in 1997 and 2007 .
Body paragraph 2
In AUSTRALIA
used of
for
FoodCorrect article usage
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48Add a missing verb
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percentageReplace the word
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in 1997 it slowly
decreaseWrong verb form
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to 41
percentageReplace the word
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toChange preposition
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2007 .
BuildingCorrect article usage
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lowestAdd a missing verb
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of Change preposition
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in each year
5 Change preposition
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percentageReplace the word
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in 1997 and
fallenWrong verb form
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to 2
percentageReplace the word
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in 2007. In 1997
HouseholdFix the agreement mistake
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used 19
percentageReplace the word
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of
exactly
it slowly
growthsReplace the word
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to 21
percentageReplace the word
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that's a little bit similar. Another type it's
aCorrect article usage
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Service
itCorrect pronoun usage
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jumpWrong verb form
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12% in 10 years. Manufacturing information
isWrong verb form
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15
percentageReplace the word
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in 1997 it
decreaseWrong verb form
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to 11
percentageReplace the word
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in 2007.
Conclusion
The
informationsChange the wording
information
pieces of information
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takeWrong verb form
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from Australian news
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Ensure your introduction clearly states the topic and what the essay will discuss. You might start by rephrasing the initial sentence for accuracy and clarity. For example: 'The chart compares the percentage of water usage in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007.'
Verify and correct any grammatical errors or typos throughout your essay. For example, 'The compares compares,' 'dramaticly' should be 'dramatically,' and 'growths' should be 'grows.' Accurate grammar will improve readability.
Your paragraph structure should be more distinct. Separate your main points into clear paragraphs addressing each sector of water usage. For example, one paragraph could focus on the food industry, one on household usage, one on the service industry, and so on.
Provide a brief conclusion to summarize the main findings. A conclusion helps the essay feel complete and reinforces the points made earlier.
Use more specific data accurately to support your points. Instead of saying 'dramaticly jump,' state the specific figures, e.g., 'The service industry saw an increase from X% in 1997 to Y% in 2007.' This enhances clarity and provides concrete evidence.
Your essay identifies key points by comparing water usage percentages across different sectors and years. This is a good approach to task response and main ideas.
You mention key trends, like the decrease in the food industry and the increase in the service industry, which shows your understanding of the data provided.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.