IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #“do #activities #student’s #life
Whether extracurricular works play an integral part in
students
'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 is a worthy concern in
this
 4.0 era. I completely agree with the prejudice above. The reasons
along with
 examples will be illustrated in the upcoming essay. At the outset, the additional
activities
 outside of the curriculum programme help pupils to enhance their communication skills
as well as
 cooperation with others.
For instance
, by adding some sports games, individuals will be taught how to coordinate with their teammates or evenly a competitive spirit with the other team.
Thus
, extracurricular
activities
 play a fundamental role in growing confidence in each student.
Additionally
, those
activities
also
 give pupils opportunities to keep fit or build a healthy lifestyle by participating in various camping
activities
.
Furthermore
, the
students
 can expand their soft skills and
also
 reduce the ratio of being obese or even having cardiovascular issues.
For example
, scholars will give more experiences after a short-term picnic.
In addition
 to
this
, those trips
also
 have a lot of hard work that can push their physical problems and immune system to avoid risky health problems.
Therefore
, extra
activities
 at school provide
students
 with memorable experiences in life and keep them in decent health. In conclusion, additional
activities
 in school programmes play a crucial role in pushing
students
' confidence up and
also
 involve a better lifestyle
as well as
 life experience.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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language
Ensure that all words are used accurately and appropriately. For example, consider revising 'prejudice' to 'statement' or 'assertion', as the former is not used correctly in this context.
language
Avoid awkward or unclear phrasing. For instance, 'by adding some sports games' could be phrased more clearly as 'by participating in sports activities'.
task achievement
Expand your range of examples to provide more comprehensive explanations. For instance, you can include examples of cultural activities, like drama clubs or debate teams, which also contribute to skill development.
structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
clarity
Main ideas are clearly stated and logically developed in a coherent manner.
examples
The use of relevant examples, such as sports games and camping activities, helps illustrate the points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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